The "Too Tired" Answers - Part I

I will answer the other question but this should tide you over in the meantime.

Assuming you are like the 99.9% rest of the women in the world (me included, of course), is there anything that you would change about one specific body part? (Bigger/smaller boobs....longer legs...smaller thighs...stuff like that).

One body part??? This isn’t like poker where I can keep one and give the others back???? Normally I would say a flat stomach but I’ve developed a new theory recently. I’m carrying a few extra pounds for my 5’ 4” frame. I have a friend who’s the same weight as me but a few inches taller and she looks fabulous. Therefore I’ve decided that my problem isn’t weight but rather height. If I was 3 inches taller I’d be the perfect weight for my height. I’m vertically challenged. I’ve decided that should be the next major telethon. Do you know what it’s like to have to climb the shelves at the grocery store to reach that box of cereal on the top shelf? Or to be lost in a crowd because you’re too short to see over everyone else to find your friends? Please give a $1 to help the vertically challenged, won’t you?

So, to answer your question, I’d like longer legs. Way longer…long and svelte.

How did you come up with your blog title?
I’m actually thinking about re-naming it. I came up with much cooler names after the fact. But I’m too lazy to actually go through the work to do it. Back to the question…It seems that at least once a week I hear the following, “you know you opened a can of worms”. It appears that I have a knack for it. My philosophy is that I can open the can now and fix the problem OR let it explode all over you later. Just don’t get upset when I point and laugh at the worm go on your shirt. Since it’s a reoccurring theme in my life, I used it for the title.

Have you ever had to run for your life?
This story seems silly in the context of today’s society with suicide bombers and genocide but, yes, I have once. When I was about 7 we lived on a farm in a fairly isolated area. The house sat toward the back of the property and our driveway was a half-mile long. At that time, my mom didn’t work so she was always there when I arrived home. I got off the school bus that day and made the long pilgrimage to the house. I was about at the half way point when a black Chevelle with tinted windows pulled in the driveway. At first I thought it was just turning around so I stopped and watched it. Then it started down the driveway. I freaked. This is what Mom had warned me about all those times she yelled at me for wandering off in a store or in a crowd. I took off running as fast as I could for the house, knowing that reaching the front door was now a matter of life or death.

Somewhere along the line I dropped my book bag because the weight of it was slowing me down. Thinking I wasn’t going to make it I screamed at the top of my lungs for my mom…anyone to help me. I finally reached the screen door and jumped inside to safety as the car pulled up in front of the house. My heart was beating so loud that it blocked out all other sound. I tried to open the front door but it was locked. Dammit, where was she??

Then, the car door opened and my mind began to race. What was going to appear from inside that car??? A hairy monster?? One of those people that Mom had warned me about that like to take young kids away from their families??? What??? Then I saw it…or should I say her. Turned out that my mom and my aunt had decided to go shopping in my aunt’s new car. She got out of the car, proceeded to the house and asked, “What were you trying to do…race us? We were going to give you a ride to the house.” Yep, Mom, that’s what I was doing.