Fantasy Interrupted
I’m too tired this morning to compose an appropriate post so you get the story of why eyes are half-shut and my brain is turned off.
I climbed into bed, snuggled against the covers and laid my head on the pillow around 11:30 last night. My mind settled into one of my favorite dreamland fantasies...yeah, uh-huh, right there...mmmm...*BOOM* What the...I was jolted back to reality. *BOOM* It was the sound of one of my neighbors shooting off rounds from what sounded like a shotgun. Or a bazooka. All I know is that it was loud and quite close. *BOOM* The adrenaline started to pump and I was too scared to move. I debated whether to take a look outside or not. Although I live in redneck central it is a bit unusual to hear late night gunshots unless it’s a major holiday. I decided it was best to check it out. At least, if I heard a window break, I would know whether to grab the baseball bat I kept beside the bed or just run like hell. I peeked through the blinds in my bathroom window. Everything looked peaceful. The neighborhood dogs started to bark so I decided to go the garage to have a look out the front. I left the lights off because it's impossible to see out the windows with them on. I looked down the street…nothing. I looked toward the woods…nothing. The dogs were still barking. Not that tongue-waging “I just saw a deer” bark but the “there’s something strange and harmful on my turf and I must protect my master” bark. I held my breath and watched the woods...waiting for some strange animal or maniacal half-human with a machete to emerge. Nothing.
As I stood beside the garage door and peered into the darkness, something behind me scurried. Holy crap! I whipped around, cursing myself for not bringing some form of protection with me...or at least shoes. I searched the darkness for any sign of movement but saw none. Whatever it was, was as frightened by the sound of me as I was of it. Still, IT was between me and the door to the house. I had no choice but to run for it. I took a deep breath and ran as fast as I could while dodging the car and the riding lawn mower. I'm sure I looked as graceful as a moose on roller skates, running at full speed, trying to let only the balls of my feet touch the floor...less chance for whatever made that noise to bite me or run across my feet. I hit the portal of my freedom and slammed the door. The force of it popped open the pantry door and I nearly peed my pants. Well, if I had been wearing pants…
I cursed the neighbors and made a mental note to go to Home Depot to get whatever would kill the thing in the garage. I spent the rest of the night dreaming about the gigantic machete wielding mouse that has taken up residence in my garage.
I climbed into bed, snuggled against the covers and laid my head on the pillow around 11:30 last night. My mind settled into one of my favorite dreamland fantasies...yeah, uh-huh, right there...mmmm...*BOOM* What the...I was jolted back to reality. *BOOM* It was the sound of one of my neighbors shooting off rounds from what sounded like a shotgun. Or a bazooka. All I know is that it was loud and quite close. *BOOM* The adrenaline started to pump and I was too scared to move. I debated whether to take a look outside or not. Although I live in redneck central it is a bit unusual to hear late night gunshots unless it’s a major holiday. I decided it was best to check it out. At least, if I heard a window break, I would know whether to grab the baseball bat I kept beside the bed or just run like hell. I peeked through the blinds in my bathroom window. Everything looked peaceful. The neighborhood dogs started to bark so I decided to go the garage to have a look out the front. I left the lights off because it's impossible to see out the windows with them on. I looked down the street…nothing. I looked toward the woods…nothing. The dogs were still barking. Not that tongue-waging “I just saw a deer” bark but the “there’s something strange and harmful on my turf and I must protect my master” bark. I held my breath and watched the woods...waiting for some strange animal or maniacal half-human with a machete to emerge. Nothing.
As I stood beside the garage door and peered into the darkness, something behind me scurried. Holy crap! I whipped around, cursing myself for not bringing some form of protection with me...or at least shoes. I searched the darkness for any sign of movement but saw none. Whatever it was, was as frightened by the sound of me as I was of it. Still, IT was between me and the door to the house. I had no choice but to run for it. I took a deep breath and ran as fast as I could while dodging the car and the riding lawn mower. I'm sure I looked as graceful as a moose on roller skates, running at full speed, trying to let only the balls of my feet touch the floor...less chance for whatever made that noise to bite me or run across my feet. I hit the portal of my freedom and slammed the door. The force of it popped open the pantry door and I nearly peed my pants. Well, if I had been wearing pants…
I cursed the neighbors and made a mental note to go to Home Depot to get whatever would kill the thing in the garage. I spent the rest of the night dreaming about the gigantic machete wielding mouse that has taken up residence in my garage.
posted by xwy at 10:00 AM
7 Comments:
That's what I like about Atlanta - a lack of wildlife. It's been ages since I heard something scurry, and that's the way I like it.
Let me get this straight. A naked girl in her garage willfully checking out the possible danger in the neighborhoood?
Having been a police officer for several years, trust me I have seen it all, but I could construct many scenarios around that situation that would not be to your liking.
But. I am so glad you are safe; even if a little sleepy.
Do not stand in front of a window with the interior lights on. This is another use of the word "profiling'. You didn't do that and remember not to. Always have pants, shoes and a flashlight near you at night. A gun is a good thing too as long as you know how to use it. Install a lock on your bedroom door and make sure your cell phone is in the room with you for calling 911, do not depend on a land line.
I feel like a concerned over-reacting Dad now; but the scolding is over.
Hugs.
So...what were the neighbours doing with that gun going off that late at night? Did you ever find out?
Isn't it funny how when we watch horror movies, and the girl in the dark house, hears a noise...she's gets up to investigate and we're yelling at the screen "Don't do that!!"...yet when we're faced with it in reality, we just have to know?? lol
And thanks Rick, I just got a few pointers of my own from your response to this lol
"The force of it popped open the pantry door and I nearly peed my pants. Well, if I had been wearing pants…"
I suppose my imagination said no pants = nekkid.
And yes, certainly if you need a spanking I can give you one; just not like dad did it :-)
Whoo hoo what have I stumbled on in here? LOL
I'm glad you are okay Angie, and i learned a few pointers from Rick also. I always sleep clothed & have the cellphone with me when Stacy & Maddie to go the MIL's w/out me (which is this week-end). It used to be WAY scary when I was alone out n the country and Stacy was gone. Hated it. Now I treasure my solitude cos' i've got family all around me
Cakes - I do usually grab at least a shirt when I hunt for prowlers at night. Honestly, if I had truly thought it was a prowler, I would have been hiding in the closet. I just thought it was funny that I went hunting prowlers and got the poop scared out of me by a mouse.
I think all of the girls appreciated the safety tips.
Rick - I'm just happy I was nekkid in someone's imagination ;)
We all got so concerned for you we forgot to tell u what a well written and fun story it was!
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