Would I or Wouldn't I
The male DJs on the radio station I listen to made an interesting statement the other day. It seems that men, regardless of their marital or relationship status, decide within 5 minutes of meeting a woman whether they would have sex with her. They may have no intention of actually acting upon it, but still, they make the distinction of whether they would or would not. One DJ is young and not in a relationship; the other is around my age, divorced and now in a serious relationship so I figured they had a fairly broad spectrum for this analysis.
Being single, I’m sure that, subconsciously, I see every available man as potential dating material but I don’t know that I make an immediate conscious decision about whether I would throw him down on the bed. Obviously, there are some guys that I immediately think, “Mmmm, I’d like to get me some of that”. Some where I think, “I’ll never be that desperate”. And some that float from one category to the other or fall somewhere in between. What was my point? Oh, yeah...I don't think I do this with EVERY guy I meet. Maybe I do and don’t realize it? The more I think about it…maybe I do????
My question to you is this:
Guys – is this true?
Girls – Do you do this too?
Be honest...I won’t think bad of you either way….Really, I won't...I’m just curious ;)
Being single, I’m sure that, subconsciously, I see every available man as potential dating material but I don’t know that I make an immediate conscious decision about whether I would throw him down on the bed. Obviously, there are some guys that I immediately think, “Mmmm, I’d like to get me some of that”. Some where I think, “I’ll never be that desperate”. And some that float from one category to the other or fall somewhere in between. What was my point? Oh, yeah...I don't think I do this with EVERY guy I meet. Maybe I do and don’t realize it? The more I think about it…maybe I do????
My question to you is this:
Guys – is this true?
Girls – Do you do this too?
Be honest...I won’t think bad of you either way….Really, I won't...I’m just curious ;)
posted by xwy at 1:58 PM
10 Comments:
I decide immediately whether or not I would sleep with a woman (yes). Whether or not I would date her is another matter, and I give that some time and consideration.
I just thought it was interesting that men made this determination. I didn't think I did but the more I think about it...maybe I do.
So, is it true in a non-dating environment also? Say a business meeting? I've looked around the conference table and thought that a guy was nice looking but I don't know that I immediately thought about sex.
Grant - Thanks for stopping by!
You are witness to male role-playing here. And speaking just for me, the notion is completely ridiculous. When men are in a public role such as talking to a radio audience it is natural for men to fall into 'men-speak' role playing. We do it becasue we are taught to do so, and many of us never rearrange our understandings to overcome it. The younger the male, the more prominent the instinct.
One of the reasons we confuse women so badly is we have two faces. We have the public role playing 'in 5 minutes' nonsense and we have the authentic interior man that longs to be loved, respected and pampered not because we are men providers but just because you love us.
If you will be diligent with a man you are interested in you will eventually (by understanding this) break through the public role playing bravado and find the unique individual you expected in the first place; and he will be less confusing until he falls back into role playing. But by then you will understand better.
Size up a woman in 5 minutes and decide? This is a role-playing bravado public chant; and if not it is an utter moron at the other end of the statement.
Rick - Initially, I had the same thought as you. I'd expand on the topic but I've had my fill of male role playing lately and honestly, I'll probably come off as a little bitter so I'll leave it alone. The interesting thing was that the female listeners called in to say that they did the same thing as the men. My guess would have been that women may immediately think that a guy is nice looking but wouldn't immediately make a decision about sex. We tend to save that determination for later. We'll see what PQ and Cakes have to say about the topic.
It's possible I took the circumstance too literally. If you are truly asking can we make a decision in five minutes, go around a private corner and pull the trigger; I just think that is ignorance in action.
If you mean can we sort and end up with no and, maybe with more discussion; a sort of grouping of possiblities, then maybe I can do that.
But, sorting and taking definitive action in 5 minutes is a dangerous and sloppy game at best even if you are at a libido gone wild swingers convention. (I haven't)
I'm sticking with the male role playing commentary; with no intended insult to my male blog friends. Besides they know exactly what I am talking about here.
I think the original statement was that the distinction is made but not necessarily followed through with. Obviously, there are some that would be brazen enough to try...but that's another topic.
I think my surprise came with the statement that this was an immediate reaction to EVERY woman they met.
I'm not buying that most men decide within 5 minutes .. but I do think men are constantly "checking out" good looking women. I find myself guilty of doing it also. Although I don't actually think "Mmmm i'd sleep with him" or "Ugh troll alert". Mainly "Mmmm... nice!" I also have to delve a LOT deeper before I would pursue a relationship (well if I weren't married that is). I'm VERY picky who I spend my time with and require intelligence and humor above good looks. I have found in my former dating life that most of the REALLY good-looking guys I dated were b-o-r-i-n-g and dull. Just my experience. I didn't say all I said "most". I dont' think my husband would qualify as drop-dead gorgeous (although he is to me) but he has a TERRIFIC sense of humor, we make each other laugh all the time and he is a very smart man also.
I didn't think this question would be so tricky...but it is!
I'm like you in a way...some guys I see and think "I would SO do him!!" (if I weren't married, of course!) and then there's some guys who aren't even on the radar.
But I've known MORE than one man in my lifetime where the two of us were friends for a year or two before the thought of "Hmmm...I'd do him." popped in to my head.
Confused? I am!
Well, this did turn out to be a complex issue.
Cakes - Agree, most women would not shag a guy immediately and I honestly don't believe that most men would (maybe I'm giving undue credit). Your hubby certainly sounds like a wonderful man.
PQ - I too have met men like that...it's usually a wonderful experience!
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