I'm Going Straight to Hell

Isn’t that a song lyric? I’m rather perplexed by my plight. I was on the phone with a friend when I was informed of my future.

Now, let me stop and say that I have recently considered going back to church. Mainly because I’ve felt that something was missing in my life. I was raised in the church. I appreciate the social opportunities offered by church. I have had trouble finding a church that I liked since moving South, mainly because I was raised in a very liberal protestant church. It’s been very hard to duplicate that since moving to the Bible Belt. I digress, back to the story.

This friend has recently started going back to church. There’s a miraculous thing that happens to some people when they return to church after a long absence. Their field of vision seems to narrow. The gray areas seem to disappear and everything is either black or white. Let me explain.

This friend tried to convince me to worship at their church. I wouldn’t have been opposed but it was the line of argument that stopped me. It seems that if the apocalypse was scheduled for today, I would go to hell and this person would go to heaven simply because they have been to church recently and I haven’t. The interesting thing is that this friend continues to break one of the 10 Commandments on a regular basis (let’s say there’s a little more going on than just coveting of thy neighbor’s wife’s ass). Now, while I know that sins can be forgiven if you repent, I could have sworn that repenting meant that the act didn’t reoccur at every given opportunity. But, then…maybe they use a different dictionary than I do.

Maybe I need to re-think this. I can commit any sin I like and still get into the Promised Land, as long as I go to this church every Sunday. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea….