The Lingerie Curse
When I was about 22 years old I was dating a guy that I was head over heels for. Now, I have to confess something embarrassing. I had never bought any lingerie at that point in my life. No fancy bras, no pretty panties, no merry widows, no thigh high hosiery. Everything was pretty ho-hum basic in the undergarment department until then. I figured it was time. We had been dating for a few months and well, guys like eye candy. So I took a trip to the local store and spent hours picking out the right things. Since I was a lingerie virgin, I wasn’t sure what qualified as sexy and what qualified as skanky so it took some time to figure out the right combination. I’ve since learned that most guys really don’t care so the best bet is to satisfy you (words to live by).
I took my bounty home and deliberated what I would wear first. I was excited and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face the next time we were together. When I got home there was a message on the answering machine. He needed “space” and it was over. Out of the blue! Fine. See ya. Bye. The next time I decided to buy sexy lingerie while in a relationship the same thing happened within days of my purchase. After the third experience, I learned not to buy lingerie while in a relationship PERIOD.
I initially thought this was just me but one of my friends had the same type of experience. To this day, I will not buy lingerie if I am even THINKING of dating someone. If I see a sexy babydoll in a store or catalog my first thought is of THE CURSE. Have I pissed off the lingerie gods? I’m not sure what I could have done. Maybe it was that year I went commando? I know…but I was young and I thought it was hot. I’m sorry, o gods of the lingerie. I will never go commando again!
I took my bounty home and deliberated what I would wear first. I was excited and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face the next time we were together. When I got home there was a message on the answering machine. He needed “space” and it was over. Out of the blue! Fine. See ya. Bye. The next time I decided to buy sexy lingerie while in a relationship the same thing happened within days of my purchase. After the third experience, I learned not to buy lingerie while in a relationship PERIOD.
I initially thought this was just me but one of my friends had the same type of experience. To this day, I will not buy lingerie if I am even THINKING of dating someone. If I see a sexy babydoll in a store or catalog my first thought is of THE CURSE. Have I pissed off the lingerie gods? I’m not sure what I could have done. Maybe it was that year I went commando? I know…but I was young and I thought it was hot. I’m sorry, o gods of the lingerie. I will never go commando again!
posted by xwy at 8:01 PM
15 Comments:
My Sweet Stormy,
The trick is to wear the lingerie only, never anything else.
Wear it to the grocery store, pharmacy, Atlanta Braves games, etc; but never any overwear.
Very soon boyfriends that leave you will be replaced by the ones waiting in line.
Give me a hard one next time, that was soooo easy.
Look at teh bright side if you ever have to end a relationship all you ahve to do is buy lingerie and totally avoid all those painful breakup scenes with guys on their knees begging you not to leave them and all that crap.
For a guy, I don't think there's any difference at all between sexy and skanky lingerie...it's all good!!!
;)
Right lingerie, right lady...wrong guys! Look at it that way....they didn't deserve you! (They were probably commitment-phobes and thought things were getting too serious when you broke out the bedroom haute couture?..Or afraid their "occasional" PE problems would occur because of such steamy hot lingerie? LOL just kiddin)....
Keep an open mind...ya never know what will happen!
Rick - Now you want me to wear only lingerie? Aren't you the one who promotes nudity? I like your idea though. Believe me, I'll give ya a hard one next time, lol ;)
Jackt - Oooo, I never thought about that...although I'm not sure I could handle a chastity belt.
SJ - Yep, it's a built in defense system.
PQ - I agree. They don't care so much as long as you have it on...and then take it off!
Retro Girl - Oh, it's totally them. I just think it's funny and I have been known to use it as a defense system. I think I bought new undies before my date with the Puker so that could explain a LOT.
Denny - You Dah Man! That's the part that never made sense...at least WAIT to see what it looks like...geesh!
You may have to sacrifice a teddy to appease the lingerie gods. Besides, I've never been interested in lingerie anyway. If things are going well, I'm only going to see it a moment before it hits the floor.
Thankfully I have not been visited by the lingerie curse only the freak magnet curse :(
Grant - Hmmm, maybe that WOULD work. Some war paint, a big bonfire in the backyard, an effigy wearing a teddy...
Cakes - Ummm, no offense but I'll keep the lingerie curse over your freakazoid issue.
omg that's too funny. yes, i for one could care less what lingerie she's wearing. to me it's like a pretty ribbon on a present. who cares about the ribbon, i want the present. ;) and the thought of you going commando, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. so sexy.
JD - Yes, but JD, it's the journey from the ribbon TO the present that you should enjoy the most ;) Thanks for the compliment, sweetie.
Angie, that's an O. Henry story if I ever heard one. I'm sure the underwear kept, however. Maybe next time, you can time it just right so when you get to the next relationship, you'll just be able to pull stuff out of your closet.
BTW, great comment to my last post. I am extremely impressed.
What happens with the lingerie you already bought? Is that cursed too or is it only if you buy it when you're with a guy?
It seems to only be new lingerie bought in the midst of a relationship. Although, honestly, it's made me leary about wearing what I already have.
Yeah, I think you may have waited too long to purchase the lingerie!
On a side-note, my sister-in-law's boyfriend mailed her some lingerie for Christmas (it was a long distance relationship) and her landlord's son signed for the package, but did not give it to her! He, apparently opened it up, took the lingerie himself, and threw the box right on the lobby floor. I believe the police were able to use the box as evidence.
Martini - So...was he wearing it when they caught him????? lol. That's just not right, stealing lingerie!!
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