Why I Deserve Hazard Pay
***GUYS - - - There is discussion of an OB/GYN visit within. You've been warned ***
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret that I usually don’t tell anyone….I work for an insurance company. Yes, the ones that tell you that you can’t have that boob job or penis enlargement surgery. Before we get any further let me just state that I don’t make THOSE decisions and, no, I can’t help you get your claim paid. I can’t even get them to pay MY claims correctly. Having worked in this business for years, I’m aware of and am sympathetic to the controversy that surrounds it. The physician community is always upset either because they are being told how to care for their patients or because they feel they don’t get paid appropriately for the service they provide. I don’t blame anyone for being upset. I see both sides of the issue. I’d just prefer not to be in the line of fire.
I was at the OB/GYN’s office for the yearly discussion of the health of my favorite body part. I’ve been a patient for about 10 years now so we tend to talk to each other like old friends instead of the normal doctor-patient relationship. He is aware of what I do for a living and usually it’s not a problem.
“I see your boss got a big bonus the other day.” Ah, yes, the CEO’s multi-million dollar bonus. “Yep, that’s why they didn’t have money to pay bonuses to the peons this year,” I said figuring that camaraderie was the best approach. I was getting a little nervous because this man had already inserted an archaic torture device to stretch the one part of my body that’s still tight. I was frozen, not from fear of him, but from fear that if I tried to move the damn thing would flip me inside out.
His face was getting red with frustration and I could see his body tense up. From between my legs he leaned over my body, “You know HE’S TAKING MY RETIREMENT!” Whoa, Doc! Calm down a little there. “I’ll be happy to discuss the failings of the healthcare system with you but kindly REMOVE YOUR HANDS FROM MY CROTCH FIRST. You’re confusing my brain by having this argument now. My crotch is used to being felt up AFTER the argument.” He laughed, the tension broke and all was fine in the world again.
Because this is not my first such encounter with unhappy physicians, I decided to request hazard pay from my company. If they’re going to insist that I receive my health care from the very physicians they infuriate on a daily basis then they could at least pay me extra for being in the line of fire. Here’s their reply:
“Dear Ms. [insert name of ungrateful employee here]:
We have reviewed your request for hazard pay and the evidence you provided. Rather than increase your pay we have decided that the best approach would be to cancel your health insurance. Now you are free to receive care from physicians not associated with our company. Because you requested a resolution to this matter, we do not feel the need to reimburse you for other health insurance coverage. We feel this solution benefits all parties involved.
Sincerely,
The Evil HR Department*”
**before I get fired...the request for hazard pay was a joke. The rest of the story is true.
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret that I usually don’t tell anyone….I work for an insurance company. Yes, the ones that tell you that you can’t have that boob job or penis enlargement surgery. Before we get any further let me just state that I don’t make THOSE decisions and, no, I can’t help you get your claim paid. I can’t even get them to pay MY claims correctly. Having worked in this business for years, I’m aware of and am sympathetic to the controversy that surrounds it. The physician community is always upset either because they are being told how to care for their patients or because they feel they don’t get paid appropriately for the service they provide. I don’t blame anyone for being upset. I see both sides of the issue. I’d just prefer not to be in the line of fire.
I was at the OB/GYN’s office for the yearly discussion of the health of my favorite body part. I’ve been a patient for about 10 years now so we tend to talk to each other like old friends instead of the normal doctor-patient relationship. He is aware of what I do for a living and usually it’s not a problem.
“I see your boss got a big bonus the other day.” Ah, yes, the CEO’s multi-million dollar bonus. “Yep, that’s why they didn’t have money to pay bonuses to the peons this year,” I said figuring that camaraderie was the best approach. I was getting a little nervous because this man had already inserted an archaic torture device to stretch the one part of my body that’s still tight. I was frozen, not from fear of him, but from fear that if I tried to move the damn thing would flip me inside out.
His face was getting red with frustration and I could see his body tense up. From between my legs he leaned over my body, “You know HE’S TAKING MY RETIREMENT!” Whoa, Doc! Calm down a little there. “I’ll be happy to discuss the failings of the healthcare system with you but kindly REMOVE YOUR HANDS FROM MY CROTCH FIRST. You’re confusing my brain by having this argument now. My crotch is used to being felt up AFTER the argument.” He laughed, the tension broke and all was fine in the world again.
Because this is not my first such encounter with unhappy physicians, I decided to request hazard pay from my company. If they’re going to insist that I receive my health care from the very physicians they infuriate on a daily basis then they could at least pay me extra for being in the line of fire. Here’s their reply:
“Dear Ms. [insert name of ungrateful employee here]:
We have reviewed your request for hazard pay and the evidence you provided. Rather than increase your pay we have decided that the best approach would be to cancel your health insurance. Now you are free to receive care from physicians not associated with our company. Because you requested a resolution to this matter, we do not feel the need to reimburse you for other health insurance coverage. We feel this solution benefits all parties involved.
Sincerely,
The Evil HR Department*”
**before I get fired...the request for hazard pay was a joke. The rest of the story is true.
posted by xwy at 9:13 PM
13 Comments:
Evil HR Dept. sooooo right :)
BTW I have this claim and I was wondering...
My Goodness, Angie and her can of constantly spilt worms!
SJ - Well, since YOU decided to save me from the atomic chickens, I'll help you out...but I'm warning you boobs are not as much fun to play with when they're yours.
Jackt - lol. Have you ever seen pics of that guy that got the boob job. It's scary! [I'm really just jealous because his are perky.]
Rick - Yes, it seems that I even spill the damn cans myself some times!
Denny - Oh, you are my hero!! Wait...if you charge for this service you could solve your financial woes!
Lord Angie I feel your pain girl but I am laughing, can't help it! I hope you don't work for one with the intials UHC. I'd like to set fire to their building Grrrr..... (no this is not a threat just wishful thinking on my part) :)
Cakes - I figured the girls would find this funny. Nothing like having your feet held to the fire! Not UHC. Although, I feel your pain. I'm sure you hear complaints any time someone has an issue with their bank.
*laughing at the post and all the comments*
I call it the "Annual Search & Seizure"...lol.
I hear ya...I used to be a property & casualty insurance agent..and my orthopaedic doctor/surgeon and my eye doc were both clients...we talked about rate increases, claims, and coverage while they did their doctorly stuff...(I had to get on the eye dr. all the time about his poor claims history and poor premium payment record...) lol
Even though I adore my OB/GYN and have been seeing him for years and years, that's still a very...shall we say, akward...position to be in when said OB/GYN is ticked off.
"Would you kindly remove the shoehorns slowly, Dr. So-and-So???"
(That device always reminded me of two shoehorns stuck together! ;)
Retro Girl - Search & seizure...lol. I figure the next time one says something I'm going to ask why I had to spend 3 hours in the waiting room.
PQ - shoehorns...lol. I usually refer to them as salad tongs but I figured I'd gross out the guys by saying that.
Um, Angie, you're not going to the dentist's anytime soon, are you? Could I suggest scheduling the appointment before any announcement of major changes in company policy?
Xdell - Oh, man, you can't even TALK when they work on you. Although, I'm not sure if I'm more partial to my mouth or the previously mentioned part. I mean I can always intake food intravenously.
lol very funny. My doctors at work usually only have complaints about the insurance agencies because they (insurance companies) are always so persistant and demanding with wanting everything yesterday. Unfortunately that's the way it has to be sometimes.
And the speculum (I think that's what it's called) reminds me of a duck's bill, which sounds even worse than PQ's twin shoe horns lol
Can't say I'd be happy having an irritable doctor between my legs during that examination...the anticipation of facing the exam itself is bad enough with having to worry what mood the doc might be in lol
and Jackt...you're wanting breast implants AND penile enhancement? Bit greedy, say what? lol
Lisa - Ding, Ding, Ding. Lisa has won the prize for knowing the correct word! Duck bill. lol. I think I like that one best!
Denny - Since you're not actually licensed, I'm thinking $40 sounds fair. I mean, let's not get too greedy. Thanks for the freebie!!
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