Oooooo, S-H-I-N-Y

It's that time again. My car, whom I used to love dearly, is dying a slow death. The engine is once again losing compression (girl translation: when you push down the accelerator, it won't go fast) and after replacing several gaskets and a radiator last year I can't justify sinking more money in it. Besides, it's almost paid off which is simply a guarantee that something much more expensive is about to break.

It's time to start doing my homework. I usually pick a few models that I like and do the research into safety, reliability, etc. until I narrow it down to the best choice for the price. Then I start perusing the dealerships for a replacement. This sounds like a very intelligent process. But it all goes out the window when I see something like this:

It doesn't happen at every dealership but eventually it does...and that's when I know I've found my dream car. I call it the "ooooo, shiny" syndrome. I know the minute it hits because I lose control of the ability to distinguish between what I want and what I need. The drool starts to string out the corner of my open mouth. My eyes glaze over and all the blood rushes from my head. I don't know where it goes but I'm pretty sure, if I was a guy, I'd have a woody. This is an instant hit with the salespeople because they know the only words I can utter are "where do I sign?" and "trade-in? Oh, just take it". This is actually how I ended up with my current vehicle. All it takes to seal the deal is a split-second sight of myself behind the wheel. Ever wonder why dealerships have mirrored windows? It's for suckers like me.

You gotta admit, she's sharp. A 6.1L Hemi V8 with 425 horsepower....whoa, I need to go lie down....the blood just rushed from my head again.