Wallowing In It
I ran across a letter last night while I was looking for something to post. I've been super busy at work this week and haven't had the time to write much of anything so I was searching for a quick meme or tag. Instead I found a letter written to the last ex. We'd been dating off and on for a while and it was time that one of us pulled our cajones out and made a move. He told me to decide what I wanted. I knew what I wanted and I spelled it out in that letter.
Of course, it didn't work. If it was meant to work it would have been much easier from the beginning. When it did finally end, I was so fed up with his dart in & then run for cover method of dating that all I could think of was the best way to hide the corpse. The problem is that I've been so busy trying to figure out how to poke his eyes out with a spoon that I didn't take time to wallow. Girls need to wallow when relationships end, no matter what type of relationship it was or how long it lasted. It's how we assess the damage, learn from our mistakes and move on.
If you noticed, I've not been very introspective lately. I think it's because I knew there was a good wallow waiting patiently in that closet in my mind. You know, the one full of the things I don't want to deal with? The one I keep locked? I wasn't ready to disturb it before but I've put it off long enough. Tonight, it will be time to wallow. I'm getting a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben & Jerry's and I will wallow my little heart out. And when the sun rises Saturday morning, I will be prepared to continue my quest for Prince Charming...this time a little wiser for the experience.
Of course, it didn't work. If it was meant to work it would have been much easier from the beginning. When it did finally end, I was so fed up with his dart in & then run for cover method of dating that all I could think of was the best way to hide the corpse. The problem is that I've been so busy trying to figure out how to poke his eyes out with a spoon that I didn't take time to wallow. Girls need to wallow when relationships end, no matter what type of relationship it was or how long it lasted. It's how we assess the damage, learn from our mistakes and move on.
If you noticed, I've not been very introspective lately. I think it's because I knew there was a good wallow waiting patiently in that closet in my mind. You know, the one full of the things I don't want to deal with? The one I keep locked? I wasn't ready to disturb it before but I've put it off long enough. Tonight, it will be time to wallow. I'm getting a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben & Jerry's and I will wallow my little heart out. And when the sun rises Saturday morning, I will be prepared to continue my quest for Prince Charming...this time a little wiser for the experience.
posted by xwy at 8:30 AM
16 Comments:
(1) Since you treasured the relationship so deeply, I would say that its loss is an appropriate occassion to mourn. We have to mourn the deaths of what we hold dear. If it's ice cream and wine, so be it.
(2) I hope that wallowing doesn't prevent you from finding a guy who really is what you want. When men wallow, we tend to drive the women away.
(3) I did a little wallowing myself, a couple of weeks ago, after finding my last girlfriend's letters. Fortunately, I was alone.
(4) Poking somebody's eye out with a spoon is labor intensive. An ice pick is far more efficient.
(5) You gotta stop buying underwear:-)
What can I say... I hope that you don't even have to wait till saturday morning.
You are a wise, wise woman Angie. I reccomend B&J's Chubby Hubby but really do B&J make a bad ice cream? I think not. Wallow away honey and wake up ready to find that prince!
Blue Bell Cookies n' Cream Ice Cream
Wallow tested.
Xdell - Wallowing is short term only. The purpose of doing it is to avoid interference with finding Mr. Right. Oooo, an ice pick would be a good idea but spoons are dull and therefore the torture lasts longer ;)
SJ - Thanks, sweetie ;)
Cakes - I haven't found a B&J yet that I don't like. I don't know about being wise...I think a wise women would have kicked him to the curb long before I did.
Rick - Thanks for the suggestion...although I'm not sure how well cookies-n-cream will go with Shiraz. Of course, maybe good wine shouldn't be wasted on wallowing...Anyone know where I can get some Boone's Farm?
i couldn't agree more. you don't have closure until you have that good wallow. men wallow too, usually over lots of beers and with a stripper on their lap, but hey, to each their own. ;) and if you get done wallowing early and want some company.... ;)
i love wine and ice cream!!! just in case you wanted to know. :)
Denny - heehee. Boone's Farm brings back many memories of younger days....
JD - beer & strippers?...Let's go! lol. You're soooo bad ;)
woohoo Angie, okay!!! i figure, if you're gonna wallow, at least make it fun, hehe. ;)
I'm a man and therefore don't understand the appeal of wallowing. You should try things my way - stop allowing your girlie emotions to interfere and instead rely on brute force. I recommend an 8 pound dead blow hammer as being the solution to all of life's problems. Enjoy. =)
Grant - Tried that one...but he kept running away...Chicken!!
roflmao. chicken. priceless. :)
Angie, My T-shirt says.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Big Deal.
hope you are feeling better today. boones, (shudders). yup i guess that triggers some thoughts for sure. of course so does lemon gin in winter on a sunny sunday afternoon after a ride on a snowmobile. (another story another time...perhaps. enjoy the weekend.
SJ - lol...that's totally you :)
Poet - Not much of a gin drinker but that snowmobile story sounds interesting.
Jackt - I think you have to be liberal to make ice cream. I mean can you picture Pat Robertson making ice cream for a living????
I hope you got all your wallowing out of your system.
And of course you know, Prince Charming will only come around when you're NOT activly looking for him, right? Those Princes are always messing with our heads that way...;)
PQ - Most certainly and believe me, spent many years not actively in pursuit of him. The little bugger still didn't show. I think he's playing hide-n-go seek.
And yes, the wallowing is out of my system. Feeling much better now.
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