The Weekend: Frumpy Clothes & Wild Monkey Sex

Before I start this post, let me just clarify that the bar dancing will be done later this summer in North Carolina or possibly Panama City Beach, if that trip falls through. And Micki, because I know you're lurking, let me just say that I may pour tequila down your throat and drag your butt up with me. No worries, Uncle Bob will take pictures...if for no other reason than to blackmail us at the next family function.

Long Weekend Wrap-Up

1. Much time spent with Mom shopping for something sexy to wear to her upcoming class reunion. Realization that what I think is sexy and what Mom thinks is sexy are 2 different things. There is a "frumpy factor" to contend with. At a certain age your taste turns to clothing that your female friends find attractive. Note to Amy & Micki: Shoot me if I reach this stage and am still unmarried.
2. Long discussion of Mom's great figure and her un-willingness to show it off. I tried to explain the theory that men are inherently aware that women are naked under their clothing and that clothing that makes the shape of your figure known actually helps them picture your nekkidness which in turn makes you more attractive. Note: I'm not trying to turn my mother into a hoochie but just get her to stop wearing boxy t-shirts just because they have a cute flower pattern on them. She refused to believe that I might have a clue.
3. Finally saw The DaVinci Code. Great movie and I think easily understandable by those who haven't read the book. Although, knowing the theories behind it and understanding the intricacies of how it all ties together makes the theory more believable. Still good movie on it's merits alone.
4. Realized that my mom would not make a good beach bum as she cannot vegitate for more than 15 minutes unless it involves sleeping. Now searching for a way to convince her to relax more often.
5. Breakfast with my grandmother and my grandather's remaining sister and brother. They love to gather for breakfast when I'm in town. I love that they want to spend time with me and enjoy listening to their stories. Besides, they remind me of my grandfather who I miss very much. For being in their 70s & 80s, they are still very active. I can only hope that I maintain their zest for life when I reach that age.
6. Listened to Mom chastise my aunt for staying out until 4 a.m. because "nothing good can happen after midnight". Explained the concept of staying out until bar close & then heading to Waffle House (or Denny's in this case) to stave off the hang-over. She is convinced that the phrase "stayed out until 4 a.m. talking at Denny's" equals "I had wild hot monkey sex with someone I picked up in a bar".
7. Spent an evening with my old friend, Vince, talking and laughing over homemade pasta & too much beer. Did something that I swore I wouldn't but don't regret and now I don't know how I feel. Very possibly proved Mom's point since I didn't make it home until 3 a.m.
8. Realized that I need to spend less time analyzing the choices I make and more time enjoying life.
9. Made acutely aware by Mom that, at 35, I'm still not too old to be scolded by my mother and that there are rules in her house. See #7.
10. Reminded Mom that some day she will be old and need taken care of and if she doesn't want to end up with my brother she might want to loosen the rules in her house a bit.
11. Spent airplane ride home trying to sleep while seated next to the most annoying mother/son combo I have ever met. It was very obvious that at 45, he still let his mother rule his life. I had to lay down some rules when she started picking lint off my yoga pants.
12. Spent tram ride from the concourse to baggage claim repeating "Oooo, Grant would like her" in my head. It seems that Monday is J-usagi day in the Atlanta airport.

That's the wrap-up of my long weekend. Missed you all bunches!