I Don't Do Subtle
I've been having a problem with my internet connection and Micah from my ISP came out today to fix it. Micah's first words when he entered the house were "Wow, I haven't been out here in about 2 years. I like what you've done with the place." And before we even walked back to my office he uttered, "You have 2 desktops because you work from home sometimes, right?" Huh?? I quickly searched my memory. I didn't remember him but I did remember that a nice looking young stud had come out to fix the connection. How in the world did he remember that?
After a half hour of toying with the modem, router and computer he determined that the box outside had been hit by lightning. Once replaced everything worked perfectly again. We joked around a little and before he left he gave me his phone number in case I had any other problems.
So, here's the question...did he give me his phone number because he really believes in good customer service or because he wants me to call? I can pick up on flirting from a mile away but guys that are more subtle? Well, they'd do better to hit me over the head with a club and drag me back to the cave by my hair. Seriously.
Case in point, a few years back I got in the habit of having the oil in my car changed at one of those quick lube places. One day, the manager gave me his card and told me to call him if I had any problems. I explained the exchange to one of my friends who informed me, to my surprise, that he wasn't really interested in my car. It actually took her 3 days to convince me of this. When I finally did call, sure enough, she was right.
Same thing happened at the gym last week. A guy came over and sat down on the bike next to me even though other bikes were open. We struck up a conversation about the baseball game on the TV in front of us. A few minutes later he left and the trainer came up to ask me if I had gotten his name. Bewildered, I explained that we were just talking about the game. Her response, "Girl, he was flirting with you. Did you not see that?" Obviously not. I'll get the idiot tatto for my forehead now.
Am I the only one with this problem???? Is there a book that explains subtle flirting for dummies????
After a half hour of toying with the modem, router and computer he determined that the box outside had been hit by lightning. Once replaced everything worked perfectly again. We joked around a little and before he left he gave me his phone number in case I had any other problems.
So, here's the question...did he give me his phone number because he really believes in good customer service or because he wants me to call? I can pick up on flirting from a mile away but guys that are more subtle? Well, they'd do better to hit me over the head with a club and drag me back to the cave by my hair. Seriously.
Case in point, a few years back I got in the habit of having the oil in my car changed at one of those quick lube places. One day, the manager gave me his card and told me to call him if I had any problems. I explained the exchange to one of my friends who informed me, to my surprise, that he wasn't really interested in my car. It actually took her 3 days to convince me of this. When I finally did call, sure enough, she was right.
Same thing happened at the gym last week. A guy came over and sat down on the bike next to me even though other bikes were open. We struck up a conversation about the baseball game on the TV in front of us. A few minutes later he left and the trainer came up to ask me if I had gotten his name. Bewildered, I explained that we were just talking about the game. Her response, "Girl, he was flirting with you. Did you not see that?" Obviously not. I'll get the idiot tatto for my forehead now.
Am I the only one with this problem???? Is there a book that explains subtle flirting for dummies????
posted by xwy at 11:27 AM
17 Comments:
I thought inability to gauge other's intents was a guy thing. Sounds like computer boy is flirting, especially if he gave you a home and not office number.
I agree with Grant....Computer boy is flirting. I can never tell when a man is flirting with me, but I can always tell when a man flirts with a friend of mine?! Maybe we both need to take Flirting 101 soon!
Ok hold till while I tatoo your forehead.
Jus' kiddin'
okay, you're a hot blonde. if any guy comes over and talks to you for more than 2 minutes, about any topic at all, it's flirting. sheesh, isn't that obvious? ;)
Grant - No, it's not a guy thing. If he had said call me if you have problems or for anything else...then I would have known. I'm not sure if it's the office or home number...
blueeyes - I know I think I missed that day in school or something. Flirting 101, brilliant! Maybe we can find an online course!
SJ - I actually think I need a big neon sign instead of a tattoo. The tattoo is too subtle.
JD - tyvm ;) Not obvious enough. Don't you guys use hand signals or something???
Computer boy sounded like he was flirting to me too. Afterall, he hadn't been in your house for 2 years and he remembered quite a bit about it. You obviously made quite an impression the first time he was there.
I think that sometimes we don't see these subtleties because a) we are indeed idiots and b) because we don't want to make a horse's arse out of ourselves for picking up on something that MAY not be there. Noone likes egg on their face.
And sometimes it's not about flirting, it's just about passing the time yacking to someone else, keeping good company etc. But the fact that they chose YOU to spend the time with, no matter how little, has to mean something right??
I guess you could always ring computer boy and tell him you've changed the furniture around in the house again and would like his opinion on it lol
And here endeth the post for today lol
*searches for club*
Men tend, consciously or not, to act flirtatiously with anyone they have an attractiveness to. After awhile, it can be habit that's hard to turn on. I would guess, assuming that the photos you've posted of yourself are accurate, that this kind of thing happens to you frequently.
Not picking up on flirtation when it's directed at you might be an unconscious repsonse on your part, especially if you're not inclined towards a long-term relationship with said person, for whatever reason (he's married, he's too young, if you're looking for a partner or a casual fling, etc.).
I'm like you and Blue Eyes. I can see everyone else's feelings, but I have a blind spot to positive feelings directed at me. One woman I had a crush on decided to flirt heavily, one day. The signs of flirtation were there (dilated pupils, unconscious self-grooming gestures, a bead of perspiration, etc.). I was so surprised by the reaction, that I literally turned around to see who was standing behind me. But nobody was there.
Even though I was attracted to this person, a long-term relationship was out of the question because of our work schedules and her fiance. I suspect this might have gone on with you and the cable guy. After all, it takes two to tango.
Lisa - lol @ changing the furniture around. It only takes one time of feeling like a horse's arse to make you question whether you are REALLY picking up a signal or not.
Xdell - No, I stole those photos from some blonde chick off of flickr. I'm really a 4 ft. tall bald man who smokes cigars. Still want that club?
I don't think it's a unconscious response based on lack of interest. It's that damn blind spot. Like you, when I realize someone I'm interested in IS flirting, I usually look around to see who they're flirting with because it can't possibly be me.
X - btw, thank you ;)
No thanks necessary. You're not bad looking for a 4', bald, cigar-smoking dude.
i'm kind of a no nonsense type. i mean if you want to take me out, tell me. must have too much testosterone in my system to pick up on vibes. never was much for flirting. be on your best behaviour and trust your gut. horse's arse or not, at least you will know. right?
Well, they'd do better to hit me over the head with a club and drag me back to the cave by my hair. Seriously.
Me too. Even married, The PK sees it before I do (usually in the grocery store when he's gone to pick up something in a different isle and comes back to find a guy talking to me (not that that happens ll that often but it does sometimes happen). I never see the "flirting" side of anything that happens to me....so no, you are not alone...;)
X - why thank you again ;) Friendly flirting duly noted =)
Poet - Oh, I love to flirt! (if that wasn't already obvious)I'll pick up someone who is obviously flirting but it would be nice if there were obvious signals like a flashing green light or something to distinguish the "I'm just making conversation" from the "I'd really like to get to know you better".
PQ - You're back!!!! It's funny that we all seem to be able to see it when it happens to others but we are oblivious when it happens to us.
I think you are just humble and sweet NOT an idiot! :) I say computer boy was flirting too, give him a call.
(as if this old married woman is qualified to give advice LOL)
My wife sez I have the same disease. I never quite pick up on it according to her. Sometimes we are out and she will return home saying I can't believe she would flirt with you like that right in front of me! My honest response is "She was flirting?"
Maybe you and I just expect the opposite sex to take the interstate and don't be meandering around.
Cakes - I may take your advise and call him to just say thanks for fixing it and let him know that everything's working & see where the conversation goes(you're not OLD...you can't be OLD because that would make me very close to OLD)
7 - Good save, I'm sure Beth appreciates that fact that you 'don't notice' when women flirt with you. Taking the interstate...yes, there's been much talk of that lately.
Just assume that they are all flirting...cause they probably are :-)
Enjoy it...remember, the world is your schmorgasboard!!
I say go for it...If he's cute...call him, what the heck?!
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