This Idiot's Guide to Asking a Woman Out
*Grant – These are general concepts, please tweak before applying to your usagi. I’d hate to be the cause of an international incident.
Eye Contact
Most people don’t make eye contact anymore. First, it’s a very effective way to make your interest known. The correct amount of eye contact is essential. Too little and she might think you are glancing around the room. Too much will be noted as leering. This skill takes practice and the grocery store is the perfect place to do it. Lots of women not expecting to get hit on. Make eye contact and smile. If they smile back you’re using the correct amount of eye contact. If they call for security or hit you with a jar of cheese whiz, you’re leering.
Confidence
Confidence is an important factor in asking someone out. People are naturally attracted to confident people. However, the level of confidence is important. Too little or too much will ensure a quick check mark in the loser column. Somewhere between “I’m too sexy for my shirt” and “I don’t have a life” should work.
Don’t fear rejection. I know it’s a natural tendency but look at it this way…YOU have a 50/50 chance. Besides, there may be a hot chicka that’s just dying for you to ask her out. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.
Pick Up Lines
If the object of your desire is over 25 she’s already heard every pick up line in the book. Seriously. Don’t think you have the ability to say something that she hasn’t already heard. You don’t. Some of my personal favorites:
- Do you know where I can buy some jet fuel? Because if you do I can fly us out of here in my plane.
- Do you know how great my hair would feel between your thighs? (I should have slapped that guy but I was too busy laughing at him.)
The pick up line that works every time? Smile and say hello. It will give you leverage over all the other losers who have hit on her. It will also make her think you’re sincere in your desire to get to know HER rather than her body.
Do not use pick up lines in a non-bar setting. I met a guy through an online dating service who seemed really nice and I was interested in getting to know him until our first conversation. He threw every line in the book at me, which included stating that “Angie is a ‘hot chick’ name”. WTF? Angie is not a hot chick name…Tatiana, Gabriella…those are hot chick names. We never got past the 2nd conversation because his use of pick up lines made his professed desire to get to know me seem insincere.
Poo-poo On Your Shoes
Dogs, left unchained, will invariably choose a yard other than their own in which to do their business. They do this to avoid the resulting mess. Obviously, they’ve learned a lesson that we humans have yet to conquer. If this woman is a friend, a friend of a friend, an employee at your favorite restaurant, bar, coffee house, etc, think twice about the possibility of having a mess to clean up in your own backyard if the date (or even the asking of) should fail miserably. I’m not saying it won’t work, it very well might. Just take it into consideration.
That's all for today. Tomorrow I solve world hunger.
posted by xwy at 8:15 PM
22 Comments:
I would also guess that pressing a woman's nose, and saying, "Beep! Beep!" isn't an effective way of asking women out.
I didn't know guys still use lines. I haven't used one since the '70s (in case you're wondering, my pick-up line was "Did you know that boomerangs are coming back?").
I'm now kinda curious, actually. ave we become so divided gender-wise that men and women cannot approach each other as sovereign human beings? Are we really prey to be won, or the predator?
Hmmm. No wonder I don't date anymore.
X - Unless you're dressed in a clown suit...no beep, beep probably won't work well.
I personally would love it if a guy would just walk up and say, "hi, my name is ....and I'd like to get to know you better". I'd be thrilled but the process very rarely works that efficiently.
Prey & predator? Not exactly the terms I'd use. And wasn't what I intended with the post. But in reality it's more like 1 strike and you're out. Presentation has become very important.
I'll put it in more logical terms for you. If a guy possess an attitude that he's going to get shot down, he more than likely will. Mostly because the girl will pick up on his negative body language.
And you, not dating? I'd think with your intelligence you'd have women lined up to date you (I can't comment on your looks because I've never seen a pic). But I understand. I myself have reverted to the concept that boys have cooties.
Angie this is a great post! You are much wiser (and wittier) than you give yourself credit for.
When I think of pick-up lines, I always think "What's your sign?" My nephew actually used that one when he was going through his 70's retro phase and gawd did we laugh at him! The girl did too.
This is a great post! :-) I agree about pickup lines - women think they're lame (sometimes funny) but they make a guy look like "Lounge Lizard Larry". Just be honest, confident, funny, and sincere...be yourself. If the gal says no, or doesn't like you -- move on. She wasn't the one. Like I always say---the world is your schmorgasboard...and they're like a bus---another will come along in 10 minutes...Have fun :-)
Hmmm....this eye contact thing....is using a stopwatch appropriate? If so, should it be 2 seconds, 3 seconds??
Cakes - Thank you. See, your nephew is learning from an early age. Even girls his age have heard pick up lines!
RG - lol @ Lounge Lizard Larry. And yes, that's the best way to describe our reaction. You're right, being yourself is probably most the most important but seldom practiced rule.
7 - Good question. Go to the grocery and stare at a woman. While doing this, count (in your head...1 mississippi, 2 mississippi)until she throws the can of cheeze whiz at you, then report back.
And notice I said count in your head. The stop watch will nullify the research because she will be thinking to herself "why is that man holding a stopwatch in the grocery?" Which will probably speed up her screams for security.
Thanks. Except I would hope to establish the correct time prior to the throwing of things. Are u telling me it varies from girl to girl? This is soooo complicated....
If you were standing aside me giving direct coaching would it negate the study?
My advice to Grant is to just get his cock and watch them come in droves!! hahaha!
I once was chatting to a guy on the net. first convo and he was like do you manicure your nails? Obviously my end of the convo went dead and he was like 'Don't you want to talk to me anymore?' i replied 'No not really'.
Have you ever known ANYTHING that didn't vary from woman to woman? I could coach you but then she'd probably just wonder why that strange couple was staring at her. Men!!!! You make things sooooo complicated. Hmphfr. =)
Rule of Thumb: 2.5 seconds.
Or you could just go pull her hair. I hear that works too.
How long to pull? All the way back to the cave?....Oh yeah, all girls vary...catching on....sloooowly
2.5 seconds ...Ha....now i know!
Thanks. I plan to use your tips this Saturday for lunch. If I don't get laid immediately, I'll know you're lying.
BTW, at what point should I employ the chloroform and headlocks? That's my A material. :p
Cherry - Well, considering he'll probably be in a restaurant, that'd probably garner some attention. Although, probably not the attention he's looking for.
So maybe that guy was really into nails?
7 - I'd pull on it for a long time but with a soft touch. Some prefer a short, hard pull. Oh, wait...you were talking about hair, weren't you???
Grant, Grant, Grant - The whole purpose of this is to get you AWAY from using the chloroform and headlocks. Tsk, tsk. So much work to do. And if you do get laid immediately, please allow me time to move my miso soup. I'd hate to spill it. =)
great post, lmao. explains all the cheeze whiz flying at my head...
JD - I seriously doubt that. I'm glad I could make you laugh ;)
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Type-o's irritate the hell out of me.... so here it is revised.
Angie, you must be one in a million. I've actually tried "hi, my name is ....and I'd like to get to know you better". It didn't work. I don't believe in pick up lines they're corny, but I'm starting to think the direct approach isn't all it's cracked up to be either.
i've been totally surprised at some of the corny lines women fall for. i don't use them, i think they're stupid, but then some moron ends up taking some hottie home while i'm left to ponder wtf? lol. i think a sense of humor goes a long way to picking someone up, as long as it doesn't turn into a stand-up comedy routine. ;)
Shaun - I make enough typo's myself. I don't deduct points if you make them :)
Don't give up. Believe me, I know. I went out with a guy not to long ago who spent the entire meal running to the bathroom because he'd drank too much the night before. There are a lot of rotten apples out there. Just keep trying. It has to get better ('cuz it can't get much worse)! Thanks for stopping by. Email me your blog address.
JD - I may have to do Part 2 because you're right...a sense of humor is one of the first things that attracts me to a man. If I talk to a guy for 10 minutes and he doesn't make a joke about something he's not going to hold my attention for much longer. Hmmmm, maybe how to talk to a woman should be part 2.
It's been years since dating, but I always liked it when a man grabbed me by my torso and shoved me into the bar....no, actually, I can't even remember how guys asked me out. I've been married too long.
EOTR - Ah, the direct approach. It hasn't been that long has it?? Thanks for stopping by :)
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