The Leaning Tower of Garbage
I think humans must be on the verge of an evolutionary change. I used to be able to tell that the trash can in the kitchen was full, pull out the bag and place it in the container that I am forced to rent from the sanitation company for a bajillion dollars a month.
Lately, I've been overcome by a force that prohibits me from actually removing the bag from the trash can. Instead, when the can appears full, I put my hand in and squish down everything that's in there. I'll actually do this several times until the bag is so full that it requires a crane to remove it from the trash can. I've even found myself placing items (this week an empty 12 pack of Coke and a cracker box) on top of or beside the trash can simply because to place them in the trash can would fill the bag and I'd then be forced to remove it.
This is a new behavior for me. I've lived with roommates who exhibited this behavior and it irritated the crap out of me. I constantly removed the bag from the trash can and gathered up all the Coke cans, wrappers and whatever else landed on the floor due to lack of space in the actual trash bag and hauled it all out. I'm not sure what is driving me to do this now. I live alone so it's not like someone else will come behind me and magically remove the bag.
Is this evolutionary change happening in your house too? Have you figured out yet that I don't really have a post for today?
Lately, I've been overcome by a force that prohibits me from actually removing the bag from the trash can. Instead, when the can appears full, I put my hand in and squish down everything that's in there. I'll actually do this several times until the bag is so full that it requires a crane to remove it from the trash can. I've even found myself placing items (this week an empty 12 pack of Coke and a cracker box) on top of or beside the trash can simply because to place them in the trash can would fill the bag and I'd then be forced to remove it.
This is a new behavior for me. I've lived with roommates who exhibited this behavior and it irritated the crap out of me. I constantly removed the bag from the trash can and gathered up all the Coke cans, wrappers and whatever else landed on the floor due to lack of space in the actual trash bag and hauled it all out. I'm not sure what is driving me to do this now. I live alone so it's not like someone else will come behind me and magically remove the bag.
Is this evolutionary change happening in your house too? Have you figured out yet that I don't really have a post for today?
posted by xwy at 9:22 AM
15 Comments:
Go and pack your sorrows
The trash man comes tomorrow
Leave them at the curb
Then watch it roll away
~Jackson Browne (paraphrased)~
Reading this I was wondering if you had been to our house!
I've evolved in the other direction, from a semi-slob to just shy of gay cleanliness.
I had an old roommate who would never put the toilet paper back on the roll & it drove me crazy. Since the beginning of the year, I think I am getting lazy b/c the paper has only made it to the roll when company comes over.
I find myself doing it too but only because the outside trashcan seldom has a damn bag in it and i'm too freaking short to reach them. Hey you pulled a pretty good post out of nothing AND got Grant to admit to being just shy of a gay clean freak *giggles*
I do that as well. However, the dumpster for my apartment is a hike aways, so I just dread taking it there. I never used to do this when the trashcan was right outside of the house or in my other apt. buildings wherein the dumpster was close by.
7 - I had to google Jackson Browne because I wasn't sure what happened to him. Appears he's doing political fundraisers now.
gkw - it's possible...i don't feel very rested today...maybe i was sleepwalking and squished all the garbage in your house?????
grant - I suggest you find a single J female willing to clean for you to gain your cajones back.
blueeyes - I know that's my problem too. I got lazy this year somehow....
cakes - Yes, now if I could only use by powers for good instead of evil :)
kira - It would be nice if I had that excuse but sadly, it just means walking through the garage.
I actually have garbage issues that are a bit more complicated. First of all, recycling is a bi-weekly pain (you have to scrub your bottles and cans to nearly mint condition). Secondly, there's this old man who comes and inspects my garbage within five minutes of me taking it out.
Did I say inspect? Actually, he breaks into my garbage to read stuff. I caught him several times. The last time, I think I almost gave the bugger a heart attack.
One of the neighbors threw away an insulting note to see if indeed the neighbor was spying on us. The old man read the note, of course, and tramped up to the neighbor to return the insult.
Because the trash collectors come out every Tues. and Fri., I have to sneak out all my garbage at five o'clock in the morning. So that pretty much dictates the schedule of when things get thrown out at my place.
It's evolutionary all right. Next phase is the purchase of a thirty-gallon container. Which will also overflow.
X - lmao @ the nosey neighbor. You should start printing out erotic stories from the net and placing them at the top of each bag, lol.
Rick - Gee, thanks! I cheat...I use the 30 gallon bags in a 13 gallon can...it allows more squishing room!!!!!
We have a cool metal retro trash can, with matching smaller can for recycling...It seems that to my dismay, they do not automatically or magically empty themselves to the outside bins...lol..so yeah, sometimes stuff gets sat on top of the lid, until Mr. Hottie finally takes the hint...that he maybe should do his 1 household chore, and remove the stuff!! lol. (Men! There is also this "magic box" in our bedroom...if you put clothes in it, eventually they disappear and reappear clean and folded in your dresser....isn't that amazing?) LOL
Angie..
If it is an evolutionary change it has skipped my generation and gone straight to my 10 yr old.. it is his job to take out the trash.. the kid will walk past the overflowing can 100 times before some responsible adult will tell the young man it is full .. he then looks totally shocked and amazed that there is trash there or even that we have a trash can.. I thought for a while there it was just him.. nice to know the kid isn't a mutant.. take care
TammyJ
maybe it's that you have something better to think about right now? ;) or you're at the point where trivialities like garbage are no longer that important. either way, i still love your blog and the way you write. you have a way of making most topics really fun.
I am having the opposite problem. I am finally taking it out for once!
RG - You forgot about the other magic box in the kitchen which, amazingly, if you grab the last Coke or drink the last of the milk from it...more magically appears!
Tammy - Did you never watch X-men? Mutations sometimes skip a generation. When the 10 y.o. grows up and has kids, they'll be able to teleport the trash out!
JD - Hmmm, could be...but then it could just be that lack of sex makes me lazy. ;) tyvm...life's too short not to be filled with fun & games!
Robb - lol, we always were on opposite pages! You've got 2 kids...what the heck are you taking the trash out for?!
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