You Know It's Time To See Other People When....
As I brushed my teeth this morning I realized I was getting really turned on. I mean like wild, hot monkey sex turned on. Momentarily, I worried that I had somehow developed a sick dental fetish. Hmmm, my dentist isn’t male…so it’s not that. I am attracted to a nice smile but usually not my own…not that. Then, it occurred to me…the sound of my electric toothbrush is identical to the sound of BOB, my battery operated boyfriend who resides in the nightstand.
About the time I started my blog, I had ended a…ummm…relationship (for lack of a better term). It was pure drama. I was tired and needed a break so BOB and I settled in for a long winter’s nap. Ok, it was spring but you get the idea. BOB was wonderful. Always there when I need him. He knows exactly the right spots to hit. He understands if I’m just not in the mood. He’s ready for duty whether it’s been 4 minutes or 4 days since our last meeting. And…the best part…the only drama occurs when the batteries need charged.
It occurred to me this morning that I may be a little too attached to BOB. I think it may be time to start seeing other people. *sniff, sniff*
About the time I started my blog, I had ended a…ummm…relationship (for lack of a better term). It was pure drama. I was tired and needed a break so BOB and I settled in for a long winter’s nap. Ok, it was spring but you get the idea. BOB was wonderful. Always there when I need him. He knows exactly the right spots to hit. He understands if I’m just not in the mood. He’s ready for duty whether it’s been 4 minutes or 4 days since our last meeting. And…the best part…the only drama occurs when the batteries need charged.
It occurred to me this morning that I may be a little too attached to BOB. I think it may be time to start seeing other people. *sniff, sniff*
BOB, dearest…you’ve been a wonderful companion…but I think…well, I need someone with…strong hands to caress my soft, tan skin….someone who can kiss their way down my neck (yeah, like I was going to leave THAT out)….and well, the girls…they’ve been complaining about the lack of attention. They’d like
some caressing too. Oh, BOB *sob*, I do hope you’ll understand.
posted by xwy at 10:49 AM
17 Comments:
ooooooh, i'm your first!!! if only... ;)
Great BLOG!
This made my day! I would have to say...my BOB has become my best friend!
nothing wrong with BOBs, as long as the real thing gets a shot every so often. i can understand women not wanting to play the BS games that go along with sex, but every so often it's so worth taking that chance. hey, sometimes the most exciting part is not knowing exactly what will happen. ;)
JD - Ding, ding, ding! You get a prize for being first!
blueeyes - Thanks! Yes, BOB is my best friend too. I just hope he understands my need to mingle with others, lol.
JD - yes, not knowing what will happen next IS exciting. BOB certainly has made me selective in the amount of BS I will endure!
Go forbid anything happen between The PK and I, I will have a VERY LOW TOLERANCE for any BS. Life is too damn short to be filled with stuff like that!
And I am still trying to convince The PK that maybe having a BOB isn't a bad thing...but he's not too keen on the idea.
*sigh*
Maybe I coud order one and have them send it in a plain brown wrapper to my job? You think? ;)
I think BOB would understand...and he'll always be there for you, right? That's my kind of BOB! ;)
PQ - Yes, BOB and I have talked and he's ok with the whole thing! Even promises to still be there when I need him. Now how will I ever replace that?
Oh, you need to talk the PK into getting a BOB for you!
can't wait to collect my prize!!!!!!!!!
Stacy, omg, the image of you and BOB and PK. then again, it'd be even hotter if we threw Angie and JD into that bed. ;)
JD - that would have to be an awfully big bed. and whatever would we do? Oh...OH!!! Naughty boy!
or we'd just have to stack the bodies on top of each other. ;) oh oh oh...
Well, why not branch out? Have BOB meet, uh STEVE, another battery friend! My good friend Terry works for Adam and Eve (no, we were friends long before he got that job...haha!), and he gets me all the BOBs and STEVEs and even FREDs I want for cost. You wouldn't believe the markup on...battery friends! If they make a slightly different noise or something, maybe it wouldn't be just the toothbrush that would turn you on. It could be the garbage disposal or the off-balance ceiling fan too!
I don't think Bob understood how well he had it.
I do have to say, however, that if he was perfectly content on your nightstand, that would be quite a bargain. He certainly would have to pay as much rent.
Perhaps you should post an application form for your newfound vacancy. I'm sure you'd get plenty of response.
I hope you're not expecting me to follow suit and leave my BOB alone...I'd rather fall on a blunt stick than get rid of him..um..it...oh shoot, well you know what I mean.
But yes, I do understand where you're coming from for sure Angie. BOB's just don't have enough hands to take on the task really do they? Well they don't have any hands at all *sigh*
For PQ: I reckon you really should get one...and then let PK watch you use it (once you've got used to it yourself of course)...watching others do that to themselves is a major turn on...oh...um...or so I've been told anyway.
Kira - lol! I can see me walking into the tool aisle at Home Depot and having the big O! Somehow, I don't think they'd throw me out. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell the story of how I killed the original BOB. And some day, when I'm really feeling like humiliating myself to entertain ya'll...I'll tell the story of BOB and the exterminator.
X - Hmmm, an application, huh? Lisa told me that I needed to write a contract up so that I get everything I need when I find my new friend....ahhh...so many posts to write!
Lisa - Oh, make no mistake, I'm not leaving BOB...merely also seeing others. I'm missing the companionship of a warm, live body.
Yes, I agree, watching others IS a turn on...um...well...that's what I heard too.
HMM I shld try be around when you brush your teeth ;)
SJ - Yes, hon. You missed your opportunity ;)
Thumbs up for the BOBs of the world!
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