The Death of Dodgeball
A school in Massachusetts recently banned tag, touch football and other unsupervised games during recess for fear of children getting hurt and their parents suing the school for allowing it to happen. This is the same system that banned dodgeball because it was exclusionary and dangerous (exclusionary? isn't that the entire point of dodgeball...to eliminate everyone from the other team?). Other schools around the country have banned tag and one has banned all unsupervised contact games. Aaaaah, yes...America...land of the free...unless you want to play a good game of tag, then you're sh*t out of luck. I'm torn....do I poke fun at the absurdity of the school systems or at our society's litigious nature? Maybe I should point out that banning games at recess that require kids to run around for 10 or 15 minutes is probably not the thing to do while the country is battling an obesity epidemic?
If school systems are really worried about unnecessary lawsuits then there are a few other things I think they should ban (although, in light of recent events, I really think they should invest their time in tightening security):
If school systems are really worried about unnecessary lawsuits then there are a few other things I think they should ban (although, in light of recent events, I really think they should invest their time in tightening security):
- Jacks. Jacks are sharp and could puncture the skin if a jack rolled away and was stepped on by a passerby.
- Pencil sharpeners. Very dangerous. What happens if a child sticks their finger inside one? And those little personal pencil sharpeners...well, they contain blades which could injure a careless child. Not to mention they can be broken apart and the blades used as weapons. (Note: I take no responsibility for any kids who stumble upon this post and take ideas from it)
- Pencils. The culprit of many a lead poisoning case by accidental or purposeful breakage.
- Hopscotch. With all that hopping and scotching someone is liable to fall and skin their knee. And don't get me started on the little rock used to mark the spot. That's a tripping hazard waiting to happen.
- Slides. How many of us have received 3rd degree burns on our bums from going down a slide on a hot day?
- Underwear. The cause of many a wedgie incident.
- Indian burns, ti*ie twisters, pink belly...enough said.
In short, if the school systems really want to avoid lawsuits I'd suggest that they require that all kids be wrapped in bubble wrap prior to attending school each day. All lawsuits regarding rashes developed from wearing bubble wrap should be directed to the bubble wrap manufacturer.
posted by xwy at 6:53 AM
13 Comments:
Funny, but sadly funny.
OMG I forgot how bad a jack hurts when you step on it with a bare foot. Yowzeee!!!!!
Oh you forgot Kick The Can. Someone may be hurt by the flying can. Wait I never played that one in school just at home in the evening. My bad.
Cakes - I wondered if anyone else played Kick The Can....
Clay - I don't know....chutes AND ladders? Sounds kind of dangerous. :)
Great post filled with humor and a very wicked and sharp point. Nice work.
The problem in my opinion lies in the absurd engagement of the courts in crazy lawsuits. Before we blame it all on the courts however we need to understand that most of the gigantic settlements that spur on those with larceny in their hearts are granted by jurors made up of people like you and I.
The framework that supports the entire mess is the age old idea that the big guy is always sticking it to the little guy, typically promulgated by people like Jesse Jackson that prey on the poor while lining their pockets at the same time they frame themselves as protectors of the poor. Paint another corporation as dark and evil, paint the school districts as unfair racists then make them pay the extortion price to be cleansed. Or the Donkey Party trying to bankrupt WalMart, the source of great baragins for those of limited income, while constantly wringing their hands over the poor and pointing fingers at the 'rich people '..
And yes it all fits together into the package of 'entitlement' created by this class of thinking. If I am injured in playing tag at the hands of the big bad school district, then by God I WILL SUE! I am entitled.
Enough already.
And although I am a minority in race, often treated with prejudice in my youth, I learned early in life that successs is up to me and that things always work better when mutual respect binds us together.
Whew, finished now. Great post.
I can't even give you the names of the games we played in gradeschool. They all boiled down to one variation or another of tag, but the names were frighteningly racist.
7 - Thanks. If you think that's wicked you should try arguing with me sometime :) I agree with most of what you've said. We, as a society have allowed a monster to grow in our midst. Unfortunately, it's a rather complicated issue that's much easier to poke fun at than it is to fix.
Rick - Where did you go to school??? Actually I was a little wary of using the term "Indian burn" but I don't know any other name for it!
taking all the fun out of school, those powers that be are. this is a great post. i recall dodgeball, red rover, and a host of other 'dangerous' sports. how about monkey bars? as for slides, i have a great little scar on a finger from where the metal edge of the slide sliced through my finger. lovely. have a good day. poet
Crazy, isn't it? What's next?
Nevermind...I don't even WANT to know!
I've heard of schools eliminating some traditional activities not for fear of lawsuits, but for concerns about bullying--and let's face it, dodgeball is often about bullying.
But I agree with the point you raise here. Problem is, while we are all aware that rights come with responsibilities, the same goes for the other way around. If we begin to condition generations of people never to be responsible, then they will desire a "Big Brother" to come in and institute order.
We used to play with marbles at primary school. That's another hazard and court case waiting to happen. All those little glass balls that someone could slip on, marbles up the nose for the sake of seeing if it's possible to fit, not to mention getting punched in the face by your opponent if you won ALL their marbles on a dare lol
Things are definitely getting so extreme in the playground the courts are going to be VERY busy!
Great post!
I will thank you kindly to zip it and sit idly by as you are separated from your liberties, one at a time. Quitcherbithin. After all, our country is in the midst of a great and challenging war of terror. Remember, your either with 'em or against 'em. Pluswhich, don't listen to those in the "donkey party," you're much safer living in a constant state of fear and control.
Actually, you are being a very cooperative citizen by falling for the look-at-the-shiny-keys tactic. By focusing on the loss of such this as dodgeball and tag, you aren't distracted by such sillineses as the dramatic cuts in federal subsidies for teachers and classrooms. I mean, we can't be expected to fund education when there are wars going on, right?
Have a nice day.
What about "Kissin' Catchers"? I'm sure they fear kids will pass STD's and other viral germs and put a stop to it too....
It's a wonder they don't secure each child in a small closed off cubicle where they view the teacher on a monitor all day, wear hypoallergenic jumpsuit uniforms, wear headphones and breathe pure oxygen that is piped in....then break for their vegetarian organic lunch...walk in place to a video for exercise back in their cubicle before going home with 5 hours of homework....LOL
PQ - Makes you want to bury your head into the sand a little deeper, doesn't it?
X - Well, I think kids who are bullys are such with or without a big rubber ball. It's not only the lack of responsibility but the installation of fear in the general public. While I think kids should understand that A results in B it worries me that we are teaching them that A results in B which could possibly result in a lawsuit so don't ever do A. My biggest fear is that we stiffle creative thinking by placing that logic before them at such an early age.
Lisa - Ooooo, I didn't think about marbles. I think that might qualify for class action status!
Dwardisimo Rex - Thank you for reiterating the reason why I don't discuss politics in my posts. I hardly think that the banning of tag by 4 school systems can be categorized as a "shiny key" tactic. Announcing that you have captured the culprit in a brutal child murder in Thailand, extraditing him into the country, announcing you have no evidence to hold him and then turning him loose on the entire population without psychiatric counseling...all of this during a war between Israel and Lebanon...that was a 'shiny key' tactic.
RG - Kissing Catchers? I don't think I played that one. It does sound like we're grooming children for a future in corporate America, doesn't it?
It would seem that the tongue-in-cheekness of my comment was lost. I was trying to be silly.
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