Tuesday, October 17, 2006

She heard the knock on the door and reached to open it. As her hand grasped the doorknob her body began to ache as the hurt once again flowed through it. She didn't need to look; she knew it was him. She wondered how he always managed to appear the instant she'd moved on.

She thought back on their time together. She knew much happier times had once existed. But they were so distant. The memories of him now seemed to all be filled with tears. She fought hard to remember his eyes and their laughter. She loved his eyes; they were expressive like hers. Reading them was the only way she ever knew what he was thinking.

The pain crept in forcing her back to reality. She wished things could be different, like they were when they first met. But she knew why he was here. He didn't want to walk through the door; only to know that it was still open. It was an entryway that his ego used for refueling. Esteem restored, he would disappear back into the darkness until he needed her again.

She looked at the door one last time and then walked away. There was no need to lock it. Turning the knob himself required more effort than he was willing to put forth.

14 Comments:

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

I hope this wasn't the ending of one of your relationships Ang.... :(

9:28 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Pain comes to Georgia on a Tuesday?
Hugs

9:31 AM  
Blogger xwy said...

Cakes - This relationship was toxic and should have ended long ago. It's a good thing. :)

7 - Hugs back. And guess what? It's raining. ;)

9:51 AM  
Blogger TammyJ said...

Angie..

Been there.. my ex always seemed to know when he thought he could come back.. then.. I walked out.. that was for the last time.. it took me doing the leaving to make it stick..

Take Care
Tammyj

9:51 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

"It was an entryway that his ego used for refueling"

Oooo...I've had a him like that too.

Not good...not good AT ALL. (But I love the way you put that...it was perfectly stated.)

10:01 AM  
Blogger xwy said...

Tammy - I think many of us have been there. It's a continuous roller coaster ride and it keeps running on the same track until you decide to quit riding. Congrats to you for having the courage to jump off.

PQ - Thanks. It was actually hard to admit that I was so blind (or desperate...whatever,lol) not to realize that was exactly what was going on. Live and learn, right?

10:20 AM  
Blogger Phat Girl said...

It's hard to end a relationship when you are "still in the relationship" in your mind/heart. My ex cheated on me with a good friend of mine who was 4 months pregnant with his child. The pain was so unbearable. But I look back now and I think PRAISE GOD she ended up with him, not me! He's a Loser, and I so much happier without him;)

10:24 AM  
Blogger Rick said...

Funny that I had a similar relationship many, many years ago. She kept coming back for an ego boost, just to prove she could.

If my web server ever recovers, maybe I'll write about it. ;-)

11:12 AM  
Blogger xwy said...

Blueeyes - Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

Rick - Oh, this is definitely not gender specific. Ego boosting is an equal opportunity sport....sometimes of Olympic caliber :P

11:42 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I could've written this myself. You've just described one of the longest yet happiest relationships of my past, which is starting to sneak back into my present. Happy? Yes, but missing out on so many other elements, I'm just not sure it's all worth it anymore.

You stunned me with this...I was like "OMG, she's ME!" lol

2:31 PM  
Blogger xwy said...

Lisa - It's too funny that you said that. I read so many of your posts and think about how we have very similar experiences. I guess single life has the same issues no matter where you live. :)

3:01 PM  
Blogger xwy said...

Clay - Thanks!

10:21 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

I do believe that people can grow. But knocking on your door out of the blue indicates the opposite.

I would probe deeper, but I figure that if you wanted us to know, you would have told us. But I'm wondering if your protagonist sometimes think of him when she's feeling lonely--maybe because she regrets the time of her life he wasted, or if it reminds her of her own lonlieness.

I read this as fiction. Did I miss the point?

1:45 AM  
Blogger xwy said...

X - There really was no point...other than to get it out of my head. I too believe that people can grow but sometimes they refuse to and so you're left to make a choice. And yes, I'd agree that she probably thinks of him when she's lonely. Sometimes we don't realize the part we play in perpetuating the cycle.

12:04 PM  

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