Smells like...Desperation
My mom and I had our normal bi-weekly call tonight which went something like this:
Mom: Have you talked to 'Ohio boy' lately?
Me: No, not since June. Why?
Mom: Well, I was talking to your aunt the other day and I told her if you didn't get married soon that you never will. Your window of opportunity is closing. He's probably the best one you've dated in the last 3 years. She's going to have drinks with his friend later this week to find out his status.
Sirens went off in my head. I'm not sure if I was more upset by the fact that my mom and aunt are plotting the next move in my love life or that my mom has decided I have a mere 3 or 4 years left until she starts referring to me as 'the old maid'. I asked her if, instead of being the old lady at the end of the street with 500 cats in the house, I could possibly have goldfish instead. I'm allergic to cats and well...goldfish won't eat you when you die. She didn't think it was funny.
Great. Why do I get the feeling I'm going to have to call 'Ohio boy' and apologize before this is all said and done?
Mom: Have you talked to 'Ohio boy' lately?
Me: No, not since June. Why?
Mom: Well, I was talking to your aunt the other day and I told her if you didn't get married soon that you never will. Your window of opportunity is closing. He's probably the best one you've dated in the last 3 years. She's going to have drinks with his friend later this week to find out his status.
Sirens went off in my head. I'm not sure if I was more upset by the fact that my mom and aunt are plotting the next move in my love life or that my mom has decided I have a mere 3 or 4 years left until she starts referring to me as 'the old maid'. I asked her if, instead of being the old lady at the end of the street with 500 cats in the house, I could possibly have goldfish instead. I'm allergic to cats and well...goldfish won't eat you when you die. She didn't think it was funny.
Great. Why do I get the feeling I'm going to have to call 'Ohio boy' and apologize before this is all said and done?
posted by xwy at 10:22 PM
14 Comments:
Moms!!!
hmmm, you are in your Thirties... I remember when I thought that was WAY over the hill... so.... :)
OMG! Call him! I think he needs some warning....
When I taught at the local community college, I had many, MANY of my non-standard aged college kids (like 25 and up) there complain to me about similar things related to their mothers. One girl was going to Tech to get an associate's degree so she could move farther up the Victoria's Secret chain--she was already a manager of the local one. She had a good job, good pay, nice house, lots of friends...just about everything you could want...but her mom and some other older female relatives kept telling her to forego the education and just find herself a man before she became too old to appeal to one. Sheesh!
My mom implied to my sister when she came back from college that because she didn't come back with a college educated man on her arm, she failed at the whole reason to send her off to school.
You know, if my daughter NEVER gets married AND that's what she wants, I'm all for it. People rushing off to get married or feelng desperate "settle." When you settle, eventually you divorce...miserably. What a waste of time and resources!
SJ - I concur!
Gary - I remember that time too. It was about 6 years ago. And funny, up until about 2 years ago I thought 40 was WAY over the hill. Now I ponder it and think, "where the feck did the time go?"
Cherry - I was thinking about that this morning. I've never had to make an 'ambush warning call' before. Sheesh!
Kira - Xctly! It's not that I don't want to get married...I'd love to. But I refuse to settle just so I can change my answer to the marital status question. I've seen what happens when you do that. Besides, I have an extremely low tolerance for BS...I'd be filing divorce papers before the honeymoon was over.
Sounds like y'all are in KY.. we do the "old maid" thing by 25 here.. well we used to.. thank God that changed.. Live your life.. love your mom.. she ain't gonna change.. you might however want to warn Ohio Boy that mom is picking out china patterns for y'all..
Take Care
Storms,
I am 55 ands still my mom wants to direct my path. I learned a valuable lesson a few years back. Let it roll right off and live your life as you please. Maybe you need to call Ohio Boy and do some pre-damage control.
Or a good old fashioned practical joke on mom might be fun too. Try "Ohio Boy died at the hands of the police after robbing a bank."
Tammy - No, she'll never change but that's ok...I need the laughter every once in a while! Maybe I should call Grandma and have her give the same old maid speech to Mom???????
7 - I thought about that but he's a friend of a friend of my aunt's...to easy to verify the facts. Hmmm, I think I'm going to have to come up with a list of faults to pull from every time she mentions a guy I've previously dated. I get the feeling this will not be the last time it happens.
i'm amazed that Ohio boy isn't beating down your door on his own. ;)
Hey I didn't get married until I was 28 i'm sure my Mom thought I was hopeless too and then she got a kid out of me at 38. Tell you're Mom you're just a slow starter....
Who knows... it may work out better than you think. *hums*
JD - You keep saying that...you must see something that others can't, lol. Seriously, it's complicated. Until one of us learns teleportation, it ain't gonna happen.
Oh criminy! I tell you what, tell your mom that you know the grass is NO GREENER on the other (married) side of the fence!!! you've got enough friends to vouch for that!!!
Don't ya just HATE HATE HATE it when Mom's get involved??? I do!!!
Good luck, hon...keep us posted on if you warn "Ohio Boy" or not...:)
I shouldn't have to tell you that, in the South especially, you're not a real adult until you've married and spawned. My best friend's mother never fails to proudly point out the fact that her son was married. He's 38, smokes pot, divorced, pumps gas for a living, and lives at home, but he has accomplished more than I ever will by being briefly married.
Cakes - I've been using that excuse for the last few years...I don't think she's buying it anymore.
PQ - She's knows all too well about the darker side of married life. Hey, wait...maybe she just wants to torture me? lol
Grant - That line of thinking appears not to be specific to the South.
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