Xdell's Fiendish Attempt to Get Me Posting Again

My dear friend, Xdell, whom I love and adore, asked if he could interview me. I thought maybe dementia had finally set in as I could find no other reason why the great one would want to interview little ol’ me. I’ll do anything for X so I, of course, agreed to do it. I figured he’d send me a few questions, I’d respond and he’d post it on his blog. Not so fast there, Missy. The instructions were to post the answers on my blog, which of course, hasn’t contained a new post for almost a year. Sneaky one, aren’t you X? ;) So I guess I’m posting again. Yes, you can take bets on how long I keep up with it this time around. On with the questions…and answers….

Imagine that you’re the founder and president of a successful proprietary company. What’s your product, or service?
Why Giant Atomic Chicken slaying, of course. See below. Ooooo, maybe I could get a cool X-men type leather uniform to do the slaying in. Wait…if I remember correctly, SJ’s pact with Satan brought forth the Giant Atomic Chickens in the first place. Oh well, maybe if I cut him in on the cash flow and throw a few souls his way, he’ll be ok with me destroying a few chickens. You’d pay a couple of grand to keep from being Giant Atomic Chicken fodder, wouldn’t you???

About a year ago, SJ wrote that you were the only human he would rescue from the Giant Atomic Chickens. Were you able to subsequently subdue the beasts, would you be partial to the breast, thigh, wing or drumstick?
If I remember correctly the whole idea of making the chickens atomic was so no one would decide to feed a small nation with them. But I do love me some chicken wings, especially giant fiery hot atomic ones. The only problem is that you maintain a green glow for the next 10 years (not to mention the digestive tract implications). Hmmm, I wonder if I can get those in spicy teriyaki.

Who are the top 10 fictional characters you would love to date (cannot be a real person, only a fictional character)?

1. Atticus Finch – To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book. Set in the Deep South, prior to the Civil Rights movement, Atticus accepts the challenge of defending a black man against false rape charges. Knowing that he would be ostracized by friends and family, knowing that it possibly meant harm to himself and his children, he did it because it was the right thing to do. Now, really…who among us would turn down a date with a man that honorable?
2. Chris Neilson – If you’ve never seen What Dreams May Come, rent it NOW. I’m not one for ushy-gushy love stories – I didn’t even cry during Titanic – but this one makes me cry every time. This is the man – the love – for which I search. Added bonus: I’m a big Monet fan so the scene in the painting always reminds me of what it would be like to walk around inside one of the master’s works.
3. Maximus - Blessed father, watch over my wife and son with a ready sword. Whisper to them that I live only to hold them again, for all else is dust and air. Ancestors, I honor you and will try to live with the dignity that you have taught me. *sighs* Seriously, what woman wouldn’t want to date this man???? Mmmm. The fact that the thought of Maximus conjures images of Russell Crowe in that short gladiator uniform helps the cause.
4. Aragorn - Admittedly, I chose Aragorn based on the LOTR movies, not the books. I tried reading the series when I was younger and frankly, couldn’t get through it. From what I can tell, Aragorn was a bit more self-assured in the books. I think I’ll stick with Aragorn from the movies. I like my men with a few faults.
5. Hawk-eye – Ok, this is partially a cop out as Hawk-eye, Maximus and Aragorn are essentially the same character. The hero of James Fennimore Cooper’s Last of the Mohicans. Honestly, I would have thrown William Wallace (Braveheart) into the mix as well, but, alas he wasn’t fictional.
6. Hobbes (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) – Obviously, Hobbes is the more mature of the 2 lovable characters, and the only one I might add that doesn’t think girls are G.R.O.S.S. which heightens my chances, right??
7. Prince Charming- Cinderella. ‘Nuff said.
8. Wolverine – Ok, I admit the image of Hugh Jackman (SFW with ‘whoa momma I want me some of that’ pic) in leather makes me quiver but it’s not solely Hugh that makes Wolverine so attractive. I’ve had a thing for Wolverine long before the X-Men movies came out. Maybe it’s the bad boy attitude. Maybe it’s the smart ass remarks. Nah, I think it’s the hair. Note to self: Add handcuffs to the head board. Gotta watch where those claws are at all times. Ouch!
9. Dracula – No, not the character as portrayed in Bram Stoker’s novel, nor most of the hundreds of interpretations. Only the Dracula from the Coppola 1992 remake will do for this girl. I’m not certain if it was Coppola or Gary Oldham who came up with the idea to romanticize – almost humanize – Dracul in this interpretation. Even Stoker himself never made me feel anything but contempt for the monster. But Coppola/Oldham made me feel sorrow for his predicament, made me want to free him – or join him. The scene in the bedroom of the sanatorium, while the men are out looking for Dracula, he comes to Mina in the form of a mist under the bed sheets. The moment when he stops her from drinking his blood – from joining him in eternal life - because he cannot bear the thought of her eternal damnation. That scene does it for me every time. It makes me think of him not as a horrible monstrosity but rather simply as a man, in love with a woman. Whew!
10. Linus Larrabee – Sabrina is one of my favorite movies. I picked Linus because the character is the epitome of a type A personality, someone who is driven by excellence and a need to succeed. It’s extremely hard for him to admit that he needs anything or anyone. I admire the character for his ability to not only realize his faults but to overcome them.

Stay tuned. The interview continues tomorrow......