Ouch!

I ramble...therefore I am.

My butt hurts. Well, actually my glutes hurt. As do my thighs. No, not from wild monkey sex (ahhh, wild monkey sex.....what's that like? I've forgotten). I worked out with one of the trainers last night. She developed a new workout routine for me and as we talked she mentioned that she thought I was working out too hard. Then we ran through the new routine. I don't quite know how to tell her that the old workout was a piece of cake compared to this one. I mean...a Romanian Deadlift??????? It even sounds hard. My muscles ache and I only did 1 set of the new exercises. Someone get the Advil. Please.

Please.Stop.Head Exploding. This whole Anna Nicole/Britany Spears media circus is frying my brain. As much as I try to avoid it, everytime I turn on the TV or check a news website it's the lead story. Do we not have enough drama in our own daily lives that we have to thrive on someone else's? For once, could we just...for a minute...not care about the probate matters or shaved heads of celebrities? For 3 or 4 seconds......please.....could we focus on a real issue?

1st Beaver spotted in NYC in over 200 years. Ok, make your own jokes.

The issue in Texas regarding parents who are upset about the HPV vaccine mandate because they either (a) don't want to (or don't know how to) talk to their kids about sex or (b) think it will give their kids free reign to have sex made me wonder...Why are so reluctant to talk to kids about sex? It's not like they aren't going to do it if we don't tell them about it. I remember my mom's version of "the talk" consisted of handing me a book. I could make a list of all the things I had to learn about sex on my own (that didn't come out right. lol). Wouldn't it be nice to put some actual facts in their head before they go down that road?

I think I'm done rambling. Have a great weekend!

Truth or Dare

Newton theorized that for every action there was a separate but equal reaction. His theory related to motion. In other words, if throw a baseball at your car windshield, the windshield will chip or crack in some manner which is equal to the velocity at which I throw the ball.
It occurred to me that Newton's theory doesn't just apply to motion but to emotion as well. Every action we take causes a separate but equal reaction by someone else. If I do something nice for you, you in turn do something nice back. Again, velocity (or maybe veracity in this case) is a key factor. The larger the action, the larger the reaction. Well, theoretically that's how it works.

Recently I expelled a friend from my life for lying. He'd probably refer to it as telling "versions" of the truth...never outright super-sized lies but also never the whole truth. It was always some version of what happened that fell somewhere in the midst of truth and untruth and contained more holes than Swiss cheese. He did it on a continuous basis and I grew weary of deciphering the "real" truth from the misinformation he provided. I tried to explain my weariness but it was to no avail. No matter what my action was, his reaction was always the same. So, I walked away...in emotional terms the ultimate reaction.

The problem is I wonder if I over-reacted. Where do you draw the line between being a friend and getting sucked into their personal issues? I know I can't fix the issue for him. I know that my actions (or reactions as the case may be) significantly reduced the amount of drama in my own life. I'm wondering if my theory is seriously flawed...that action doesn't always = reaction in the emotional world.

Empowerment by Panties

I haven't been feeling very confident lately. I've always been rather shy and any depletion of my confidence usually sends me into withdrawal until I feel safe to step out of my comfort zone again. Evidently my little excursion into my cave of solitude had been noticed by one of my dearest male friends.

"You need new panties."
"Excuse me?" I said giggling
"You've lost your confidence. You need new lingerie...bras, panties..."
"And this will return my confidence?" I was still giggling at the absurdity of his suggestion.
"Yes. You need to go shopping tomorrow. Whatever you buy it has to make you feel sexy every time you put it on."

I thought he'd finally lost his mind. A new bra was supposed to return my confidence? Had he ever worn a bra????????? They're not exactly the most comfortable thing you can wear. The usual rule of thumb is the sexier the bra the more uncomfortable it is. I'm much more myself
in something comfortable. I didn't have to say it out loud. I knew his response would be that that was exactly his point. So, shopping I went.

It's amazing what shopping for sexy lingerie can do for one's psyche. As I selected my bounty and headed for the dressing room I noticed a bounce in my step. My mojo was making a come back. By the time I hit the check-out I was in full blown "all that and a bag of chips" mode. I even laughed and winked at the sales woman when she joked that I evidently had some hot plans.

My friend was right. I'm not sure if it's the feel of the silk against my skin or the secret knowledge that what lies beneath these jeans is not just a pair of plain jane cotton panties but rather full fledged satin and lace with matching bra to boot. Whatever it is, my confidence has made a triumphant return. I even walk with more confidence...or maybe that's just the fact that the girls are cinched up to my nose. No matter. Perception is reality and if a little lace does the trick...then so be it.

*A big *smooch* and my undying gratitude to my friend for knowing my confidence was there the whole time and pointing me in the right direction.

A Valentine of a Different Color

My Valentine from Parker...

Ok, give her a break...she's 2! I think she got a little help from her Mom. lol.

Happy Valentines Day to all of you!!

He's Perfect For You....

Four little words that send chills down my back. My best friend is on a mission to make a love connection between me and one of the unfortunate single guys she works with (I have my pick of 2! woo hoo!). So far I know their ages and the ages of their kids. Umm...hello...I know more information than that before I buy a toaster...let alone picking out a date. The whole thing has that little voice in my head screaming "run away, run far away". When you're single it seems that everyone in your life wants to play match-maker but few really possess the skills to do so.

If past dating experience has taught me anything it's that the "friend set-up" scenario rarely works. There seems to be 1 thought behind this process. He's single...she's single...let's throw them in an enclosed space and they'll live happily ever after. If only it were that simple... Any zookeeper will tell you that throwing the male and female of a species in a confined area does not guarantee copulation (with the exception of a few friends that come to mind), let alone life long love. If you're extremely lucky the female won't eat the male whole. (Why is it that the female always eats the male? Have you ever noticed that it's never the other way around?)

Yet continuously we seem bound to this ritual. It's as if the joy of love is so strong that it overcomes us with the desire to ensure that all in the world participate in it, whether they're suited for each other or not. Hey...wait...it just occurred to me that the friends that always set me up are the same ones that constantly complain about their spouses. I smell a conspiracy.....

So what's your worst "set-up" date story?

A New Addition

Well, it finally happened. The last person in the world finally got an ipod...me!

I had to go with the green...it was calling my name. I really enjoy working out with it but I've learned a few things.... while it is possible to dance to Prince while on the elliptical machine, it's not really recommended and I have to resist the urge to sing as people tend to look at you like you have 3 eyes if you're singing "Play that Funky Music" while lifting weights....err, that may have just been my singing.

I'm in dire need of some new work out tunes... anyone have suggestions? Keep in mind, I listen to everything from Alicia Keys to Poison, so all suggestions will be taken into consideration. The more it makes you want to shake your booty, the better.