Weekend Debauchery

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." Bill Watterson

I met a few more bloggers this weekend. Kira and her fiance Alex, Doct, and I (oh, and the one who called me an idiot) met on Saturday and spent the day together. I must say that I got through an entire meal at Umezono using only chopsticks...no heathen fork for me!!! And I tried a California roll (thanks Kira) which I really liked. Hmmm, could raw fish be far behind?

Kira and Alex are wonderful. It was really refreshing to see a couple so in love and so respectful of each other's wants and needs. To borrow Kira's words, it was like spotting a Yeti. I now know that the perfect man does exist...it's just a matter of trapping...I mean finding my own.

Doct is just as witty and clever in person as he is in his blog. We spent a lot of time discussing everything from relationships to quantum physics (ok, the words quantum physics were mentioned and I knew what it was...that counts...it does so!). I found him to be just as insightful and intelligent as I had imagined.

I was a little intimidated about meeting and being expected to intelligently converse with a group of people that all have initials after their names (PhD, M.B.A...well, MBA in training but you get the drift). But I held my own throughout the conversations. *pats self on back*

I did find out that Japanese horror movies are terrifyingly graphic, translation is sometimes a little sketchy and that I like anime about sex-starved school teachers and Irish sitcoms that use the words feck and arse. All-in-all good people, good wine and good food make for a great way to spend a Saturday.

3 Questions

Before I even start this post, if you've read my blog for any amount of time you know that I promote healthy communication between men and women. Understanding how to communicate with the opposite sex is paramount to a healthy relationship. I was asked the following questions recently, by a man. I thought the questions and my answers would foster good discussion. However, this is not about male bashing. I love men and bashing them won't fly well on my blog.

What do you find most frustrating about men?
Male bravado. I love strong men. However, some men take this too far and assume that to be strong they must hide every emotion they have, had in the past or will ever have. Now, I will agree that showing all your cards at once spoils the mystery of a new relationship. However, at some point, the ability to admit that you actually are capable of showing emotion about something other than a football game would be nice. I mean is it really so hard to say "hey, I think you're cool and I'd like to spend some time with you?" I'm not asking you to say the L word. I'm not asking you to spill your emotional garbage. I'm just asking that once in a while you let a teeny, tiny inkling slip that you may possibly, enjoy my company. There, was it that hard? And 7, X...before you even ask...once in a while is defined as...oh...every 2 months.

The biggest mistake men make in relationships?
Not being able to apologize. I'm not talking about the "yes, dear" apology but rather when you really, really feck up. Holy freakin' frog toes...apologize. Saying you're sorry (and genuinely meaning it) will obliterate the resulting anger and tension. Ignoring the situation minimizes my feelings and will only serve to incite me.

The biggest mistake men make in regard to sex?
I've said it before but I'll say it again...not taking their time. There's no rush. No one's going to congratulate you for hitting the finish line in under 10 minutes. Women have to be relaxed in order to orgasm. How am I supposed to relax if you're rushing me through it? (Ok, sometimes rushing is good) Take your time. Explore a little. We've talked about the spot behind my ear before...how will you know it's there if you don't explore? The key word...FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, F-O-R-E-P-L-A-Y. Even outside the bedroom...massage my neck, kiss me when I'm not expecting it..it's all foreplay and it all reaps the same reward. The benefit is I'll be so worked up I'll be more likely to initiate sex...or I'll rip your clothes off and do you on the kitchen floor. Either way, wouldn't that be nice for a change?

And guys...help a girl out... sharing any dating tips, sources of frustration about women, etc. is appreciated. Making me aware prevents me from making the same mistakes.

*And thanks to my friend for the questions. ;)

Epiphany

I had been in the midst of chaos all morning. Busy speculating over what if. Wondering if things would turn out as I hoped. Unable to stop the thoughts that scrambled through my head…what if this…what if that…Oh God, then….when an epiphany stopped me in my tracks. I had created my own problem. The only thing I knew for certain lay in front of me. The next step depended upon an answer and until I received it I was at a standstill. My brain, unable to actually stand still, traveled 3 steps ahead of the situation. Thus my discombobulation, as it played out every possible scenario.

What exactly was I worrying about? I had very little control or influence over the situation. Tormenting myself about the possibilities that lie ahead wasn’t going to make the answer arrive quicker and it wasn’t going to change the final outcome. Either it would turn out as I desired or it wouldn’t. Plain and simple. Freed from my aggravation, suddenly my thoughts composed themselves in a rather orderly fashion.

I advise my friends constantly to not spend time anguishing over what if but rather to deal with what is when it actually occurs. Obviously, I need to practice what I preach more effectively. Now, if I could only apply this to my love life..........

I'm Soooooo Confused

AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Well, that didn't help at all. There are too many thoughts running through my head today. I can't seem to grasp on to one before another barrels through and knocks it out of the way. I feel like I may lose my mind if I don't get these thoughts out. But then, usually one in the midst of losing their mind isn't cognizant of the fact so I guess I'm not actually losing it...it just feels that way.

Everyone confused? Good. My work here is done.


*And I'd just like to thank Blogger for being a royal pain in the bootie this morning.

Chopsticks & Blogpals

I've never used chopsticks before. Basically because, although I can throw a ball from right field to home plate, I never mastered the hand eye coordination required for actually putting food in my mouth using 2 wooden sticks. As if I wasn't nervous enough about meeting my first blogger in the real world, it was kicked up a few notches when the waitress at Umezono brought the salad and chopsticks. Did you catch that? No Western utensils of any kind, just 2 wooden sticks. Luckily, I had the master of Asian culture, Grant, present to teach me how to use them. And, in grand American fashion, I completely gave up after 2 pieces of tomato and a piece of lettuce and begged for a fork like the heathen I am.

Otherwise, the meal and the meeting went very well. The food at Umezono was very good and the waitresses seemed very friendly (no wonder he has a crush on some of them). What was that? You want to know about Grant? Well, sit down...I don't want this to shock you...Grant really doesn't have horns, a tail and carry a pitchfork like many of you may picture after reading his blog. He was very much as I expected...intelligent and funny. And I suspect, under that "I'm a guy give me a grenade so I can blow something up" persona lies a very caring person. Of course, it could just be that the intelligent, funny personality had control that day.... (I couldn't leave everyone thinking you were a big softie, could I?)

After the meal we toured the Asian market next door where Grant introduced me to some of the foods he posts about frequently. [The Pocky (a lightly sweetened stick shaped cookie with frosting) rules! I'm just glad I didn't buy the chocolate ones or I would have eaten the entire box in one setting.] Then we saw Pirates 2 where Grant learned not to ask me loaded questions like, "you don't talk incessently during the move, do you?" My answer will always be yes...whether I do or not is unimportant. Is it me or did Captain Jack sashay more this time?

All in all, I had a lot of fun and it sounds like I may meet more bloggers next weekend. Woohoo!Now, I'm off to practice holding my chopsticks....wow, that sounded bad didn't it?

A Whole Bunch of Nuttin'

Your True Love Is a Sagittarius

Why you'll love a Sagittarius: Deep and philosophical, you'll love getting lost in hours of conversation with your Sag. Your Sagittarius is curious and adventurous enough to keep you interested... not an easy task! Why a Sagittarius will love you: You're passionate about a few important issues, a kind of depth that Sagittarius finds very attractive. You're outgoing, flexible, and up for almost anything. You and your Sag will have tons of adventures together.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

I found this little quiz courtesy of the Peanut Queen. These quizzes are usually fun to do but a little off base in their answers. This one, however, is right on target. My dating experience has been that most men can't keep my interest long enough to perpetuate a relationship. Like the spin I put on that? It's not my fault but theirs. Is it any wonder no one has snapped me up yet?

On a different note, I have a secret to share....come close...closer.....I'm meeting a blogger in person this weekend. Delicious, isn't it? I love sharing secrets. I'm a little nervous because this is the first blogger I've met. You never know if someone's blog personna is the same as their real life personna. Although, I think most of us are pretty open. I feel a little like Steve Irwin will be watching from between the potted plants...."There's one now. Shhh! We don't want to scare the little bugger away. Bloggers are adventurous creatures in their own world, but a little skittish when removed from the comfort of their computer screens. Crikey! There's another. This is a special occasion. Bloggers usually lead a solitary existence. Quite out of nature for them to be found in packs." Ok, I personally apologize to Lisa for the horrible "Down Under" accent. It's really as bad in person as it came across in writing. Wish me luck!

Have a great weekend! OMG....what am I going to wear??????????? (heehee. That's a little female humor.)

Maybe I'l Just Ride My Bike

Ok, I was kidding about the sex tips. As most of you know I’ve been shopping for a new car. Recently, I bit the bullet and actually went to test drive some of the cars I had in mind. It doesn’t matter what the consumer magazines say if the steering wheel doesn’t feel right in my hands. Just to recap, the previous car post...I am into cars and the shinier the better.

Instead of doing a play-by-play of each dealership, let’s just say I drove a lot of cars. The main thing I learned is that the majority of car salesmen know absolutely NOTHING about the cars they are attempting to sell. I yearned for someone to tell me what tasks all the knobs and buttons performed. Someone who didn’t get a blank look in their eyes when I asked what size engine was in the car. Someone who could tell me about the telescoping steering wheel, the adjustable pedals, or the MP3 capable stereo system. Tell me why your car is so special that I should buy it over another. Nope, not a one could do that. I learned more off the invoices than I did from any of the salesmen.

My favorite salesman was the one at the Mazda dealer. He had an Island accent so I’m not sure where he was from originally. Rather than telling me anything about the car, he preferred to point out to me that Americans have “big bellies” from eating too much, live in huge houses and drive enormous cars. We frivolously spend our money and pillage our natural resources. Now read yesterday’s post before sending me hate mail. I don’t disagree that, on average, we eat too much and I don’t have anything against immigrants. Read my archives if you doubt me. But if you really want me to buy a car from you…DON’T PUT DOWN THE COUNTRY YOU AND I LIVE IN! It really just made me want to see if I could get the SUV I was driving to roll-over.

Now that I’ve completed my rant, we can talk about the cars. The only one that made me say “oooo, shiny” was the Charger. The only problem is that I don’t think I can get one with a sunroof (which I refuse to part with) at the payment I want. The Cherokee drove nice, has a classy type of “oooo, shiny” appeal and would allow me to haul junk around. I’ve learned that hauling junk around is a necessity when you own a house. But it has reliability issues according to the consumer mags and after the problems I’ve had with the current car, I’m a little leery. At this point, I have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes being an informed consumer is a little stymieing. Suggestions are appreciated. Although…..man, I looked really good driving that Charger.

Solving World Hunger

You thought I was joking about solving world hunger, didn’t you? I know. It’s ok. I do have an idea and I’m sure someone with actual technical knowledge will come along and blow my theory to bits but at least I’m trying.

Seeing as there’s an obesity crisis of epidemic proportions in the U.S. and an issue with hunger in under-developed nations around the world, I struggled with a solution that would solve both problems. And I’ve finally found it. Doctors remove fat cells from people all the time. It’s called liposuction. So, why can’t they remove fat cells from the obese people in the U.S. and other developed nations and then inject them into starving people in under-developed nations? I mean fat burns into energy, right? Supposedly, that’s why I spend time logging 4 miles a day on the treadmill, bike and elliptical machine. And since we, in the U.S., only have 3 food groups…cow, french fries, and frappachino, there’d be a never ending supply of fat. I’d gladly give my stomach and thighs away to help the hungry. (Notice I didn’t say breasts…the girls stay just the way they are. Added bonus, after the liposuction I’ll look like a short Pam Anderson…heehee) Of course, those poor once-starving people will have cholesterol levels of 800+, but hey, I can’t solve every problem.

On a serious note, I went to the grocery last night. No, I didn’t practice eye contact. There were no men in the store and I’m not glaring at the women just to do research for you guys. If there’s such an obesity epidemic in this country can someone please explain why grapes are $1.70 a pound but I can buy a box of macaroni-n-cheese and a pound of hamburger (an entire meal) for a mere $3? A pound of hot dogs (beak & hoof variety) is $1 but fresh salmon is $3/lb. Is it any wonder why we’re obese? If you’re on any type of a fixed income you can’t afford to eat healthy. I’m not posing a solution; I’m just emphasizing the problem. I don’t see how anyone can expect the obesity epidemic to be controlled until the pricing of healthy food becomes affordable for all to consume.

Tomorrow...freaky sex tips or car salesman. I haven't decided yet. Just typing freaky sex tips in this post should increase my blog traffic x10. :P

This Idiot's Guide to Asking a Woman Out

On my random question post Grant asked about tips for asking women out. I’m not sure why because I’m a complete idiot when it comes to dating but I guess those who can’t, teach…or something like that. So, here are my tips for asking women out.

*Grant – These are general concepts, please tweak before applying to your usagi. I’d hate to be the cause of an international incident.

Eye Contact
Most people don’t make eye contact anymore. First, it’s a very effective way to make your interest known. The correct amount of eye contact is essential. Too little and she might think you are glancing around the room. Too much will be noted as leering. This skill takes practice and the grocery store is the perfect place to do it. Lots of women not expecting to get hit on. Make eye contact and smile. If they smile back you’re using the correct amount of eye contact. If they call for security or hit you with a jar of cheese whiz, you’re leering.

Confidence
Confidence is an important factor in asking someone out. People are naturally attracted to confident people. However, the level of confidence is important. Too little or too much will ensure a quick check mark in the loser column. Somewhere between “I’m too sexy for my shirt” and “I don’t have a life” should work.

Don’t fear rejection. I know it’s a natural tendency but look at it this way…YOU have a 50/50 chance. Besides, there may be a hot chicka that’s just dying for you to ask her out. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Pick Up Lines
If the object of your desire is over 25 she’s already heard every pick up line in the book. Seriously. Don’t think you have the ability to say something that she hasn’t already heard. You don’t. Some of my personal favorites:

• Do you know where I can buy some jet fuel? Because if you do I can fly us out of here in my plane.
• Do you know how great my hair would feel between your thighs? (I should have slapped that guy but I was too busy laughing at him.)

The pick up line that works every time? Smile and say hello. It will give you leverage over all the other losers who have hit on her. It will also make her think you’re sincere in your desire to get to know HER rather than her body.

Do not use pick up lines in a non-bar setting. I met a guy through an online dating service who seemed really nice and I was interested in getting to know him until our first conversation. He threw every line in the book at me, which included stating that “Angie is a ‘hot chick’ name”. WTF? Angie is not a hot chick name…Tatiana, Gabriella…those are hot chick names. We never got past the 2nd conversation because his use of pick up lines made his professed desire to get to know me seem insincere.

Poo-poo On Your Shoes
Dogs, left unchained, will invariably choose a yard other than their own in which to do their business. They do this to avoid the resulting mess. Obviously, they’ve learned a lesson that we humans have yet to conquer. If this woman is a friend, a friend of a friend, an employee at your favorite restaurant, bar, coffee house, etc, think twice about the possibility of having a mess to clean up in your own backyard if the date (or even the asking of) should fail miserably. I’m not saying it won’t work, it very well might. Just take it into consideration.

That's all for today. Tomorrow I solve world hunger.

Thankfully I Wasn't Naked At The Time

Picture this: Me, running full steam across my yard in a tank top sans bra, short shorts and no shoes. Why, you ask was I leaving my house in such a manner? To save a 10 lb. dog that was the bane of my existence when I initially moved into my house.

Brewster, the poodle mix in question, and his owner made a habit of using my yard as they pleased when I first moved into my house. One of my earliest memories in this house was watching American Idol on TV while, out of the corner of my eye, spying a man walking across my back yard. It was Bruster's owner walking him on a leash THROUGH MY ENTIRE YARD COMPLETE WITH NEWLY PLANTED GRASS SEED. We had a few small run-ins after that about the fact that my yard was in fact private property and not the community playground. After a while, Brewster's owner took the hint and Brewster has since remained in his own yard or at least his side of the street.

Today, the dogs of my cul-de-sac neighbor, which jump his fence and terrorize the entire neighborhood, decided to make Brewster the victim of their attack. The poor fella, out doing his business in his own yard, was being stalked. I watched from my window as the German Shepherd gave the Springer Spaniel a "watch this" look and took off full force for Brewster. Luckily, his speed and small stature allowed him to make it to the bushes before they could rip him to shreds. As I ran across the yard and street to his rescue it occured to me that (a) I had no shoes on and (b) I had no weapons to pose a defense if necessary. I arrived just as his attackers were trying to get through the bushes. Brewster survived without a scratch but obviously a little shaken from his experience. The attackers sulked off unahppy at their defeat. I tried to talk to Brewster's owner after the attack but he didn't answer the door bell.

I'm feeling pretty cocky having saved a life today and all. But it bothers me that (a) Brewster's owner didn't hear his agonizing yelps for help and (b) Mr. cul-de-sac neighbor doesn't seem bothered by the fact that his dogs terrorize the neighborhood (this is not the first dog they've attacked). Maybe I just don't get it????

National Nude Recreation Week

Amended Post
I threw the original post on this subject together in a hurry because well, Nude Recreation Week was almost over before I ever knew that it existed. I realized later that I had really shortchanged not only the purpose of the occasion but my own feelings on the subject by abbreviating the post. So, if you read this post and commented yesterday…get over it and read it again. :P

AANR created Nude Recreation Week to promote understanding of the nudist lifestyle. And contrary to popular belief, it’s not a mass orgy. Personally, I’ve always been intrigued by those who practice it. I think it would promote positive self-image by teaching you how to be comfortable in your own skin. Think about it. When we look in the mirror we tend to focus on every imperfection in our bodies. We see the extra pounds, the wrinkles, and one ear that’s a little higher than the other. We spend hours buying clothes, creams and lotions in an attempt to hide those imperfections from others. Now, imagine you’re in a room full of people. Everyone, including you, is naked. And guess what? Not one person is pointing at your abundant bootie or potbelly and laughing. Want to know why? Because their abundant booties and potbellies are visible too. What could be more freeing than that?

So, if you get a chance this weekend, take off your clothes and clean the house naked. You'll create a positive self-image and reduce your stress. And I’m pretty sure your significant other with appreciate it too.

Original Post

This is National Nude Recreation Week. Who knew? I really think participation would skyrocket if they'd put a little more publicity around this occassion. Fortunately, I've decided to help them out by making you all aware. You know...you really have to love America if for no other reason than the fact that we have the coolest national celebrations!

I think I'm going to participate by nude sunbathing. It's too hot to participate in any outdoor activities this week. Well, except maybe water activities, but I get the feeling nude water skiing might hurt a little. Besides, I don't like little fishies nibbling at me when I'm wearing a bathing suit. I really don't think I'd enjoy it any better when I'm not wearing one.

So how do you plan to participate?

Salmon Day

A big thank you to my friend, Micki, who finally got me to laugh last night by sending me the list of new words below (and one extremely funny soup commercial which I'm sure the fellas would find offensive...hey, it's not my fault if I can heat up a can of soup in the time it takes you to get it on).

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another...
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from theadminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)
18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Corporate Wisdom

The mega company I work for in it's infinite rendering of corporate wisdom has decided that we all must have our IM up at all times. The wisdom behind this is that (a) IM provides instant access while I'm in 1001 daily meetings and (b) IM times out after a certain period of inactivity giving Big Brother yet another way of tracking my productivity. This is a reversal of policy over the last 2 years when I have received a bazillion + 1 emails about the need to pay attention during the 1001 daily meetings and that the sounds of keyboards being crunched in the background was distracting and answering "could you repeat that" in meetings because I was working (shame on me for working while at work) instead of paying attention was a waste of the other participants time. Note: these were all employee emails, not directed specifically to me because I am a MODEL employee who spends meeting time reading blogs and responding to personal emails.

I protest at the arrival of each one of Big Brother's new monitoring techniques. Eventually, I give in because of my need for a paycheck but my disgust is duly noted by my manager. Besides, my work allows me not to be tied to the computer so Big Brother has a hard time tracking me. And as is the course of all new technology at big corporations, the employees have already figured out how to use IM for their benefit (i.e., making fun of others during conference calls, getting lunch orders, etc).

The other day I was on a conference call for the hundredth time about a project that should have been wrapped up weeks ago but there were "a few more questions". Being a model employee, I had IM open so that I could be reached in case of emergency. I had already explained to the facilitators of this call that I don't perform the functions in question and that it would probably be a good idea to question the people who are actually responsible for that area. [Am I not brilliant? I'm surprised I'm not CEO yet.] I'm on the call with my partner in crime who is also growing tired of this line of questioning. After repeating my stance once again, my IM dings. While the facilitator is babbling on, I read the IM from my cohort:

Try sign language. English isn't working.

Feeling solidarity in his words of wisdom, I busted out laughing. Which wouldn't have been a bad thing...if my phone had been on mute. The call went silent. I apologized for the interruption and the facilitator went back to babbling while I replied to the IM in a rather scathing manner (while still not on mute so I'm sure they heard the keyboard).

I'm fairly certain the next set of emails will instruct me to not answer IM during meetings because the sounds of keyboards being crunched in the background is distracting and answering "could you repeat that" in meetings because I am working instead of paying attention is a waste of the other participants time. If you work at a large corporation long enough, everything circles back around.

A Late HNT Story - Happy Friday Afternoon

I can feel your warm breath on my neck as we hug; your strong, muscular arms wrapped around me make my body feel tiny by comparison. Your eyes, kind and generous, meet mine. I can see that you have more in mind than just a hug. Our lips meet for the first time, touching softly at first. They pull apart slightly only to dive back together as the intensity grows. As my hands reach to pull your shirt off you break away. My body aches for you but your touch tells me this night was meant to go slowly.

You stand behind me, unbuttoning my blouse as your lips start at my ear and find their way down my neck. When you reach the tender spot, my favorite spot, I let out a soft moan. You softly laugh in recognition that you’ve found it and memorized it’s location for later. Your lips make their way from my neck to my shoulder as my blouse lands on the floor. I can feel your strong hands rubbing against the soft skin of my arms. I am relaxed from the softness of your touch and, at the same time, on fire from the knowledge that this journey has just begun.

I Don't Do Subtle

I've been having a problem with my internet connection and Micah from my ISP came out today to fix it. Micah's first words when he entered the house were "Wow, I haven't been out here in about 2 years. I like what you've done with the place." And before we even walked back to my office he uttered, "You have 2 desktops because you work from home sometimes, right?" Huh?? I quickly searched my memory. I didn't remember him but I did remember that a nice looking young stud had come out to fix the connection. How in the world did he remember that?

After a half hour of toying with the modem, router and computer he determined that the box outside had been hit by lightning. Once replaced everything worked perfectly again. We joked around a little and before he left he gave me his phone number in case I had any other problems.

So, here's the question...did he give me his phone number because he really believes in good customer service or because he wants me to call? I can pick up on flirting from a mile away but guys that are more subtle? Well, they'd do better to hit me over the head with a club and drag me back to the cave by my hair. Seriously.

Case in point, a few years back I got in the habit of having the oil in my car changed at one of those quick lube places. One day, the manager gave me his card and told me to call him if I had any problems. I explained the exchange to one of my friends who informed me, to my surprise, that he wasn't really interested in my car. It actually took her 3 days to convince me of this. When I finally did call, sure enough, she was right.

Same thing happened at the gym last week. A guy came over and sat down on the bike next to me even though other bikes were open. We struck up a conversation about the baseball game on the TV in front of us. A few minutes later he left and the trainer came up to ask me if I had gotten his name. Bewildered, I explained that we were just talking about the game. Her response, "Girl, he was flirting with you. Did you not see that?" Obviously not. I'll get the idiot tatto for my forehead now.

Am I the only one with this problem???? Is there a book that explains subtle flirting for dummies????

Random Question Friday Wrap-Up

Answers to some of the random questions left over from Friday.

Retro Girl asked if I associate color with scent and if I associate any person with a particular scent. I don't think I associate color with scent as much as I associate color with taste. Did you ever try that blue ketchup that they made a few years ago? My mind focused in on the fact that blue = blueberry and ketchup should not taste like blueberrys. It tasted like ketchup which blew my mind further. As far as the scent/people association, yes, I do. The only thing that comes to mind right now is this guy in the gym last week. He is an older man but very well cut. I walked past him while he was getting a drink of water. Well, all I can say is dude....WASH YOUR GYM CLOTHES.

SJ asked how the weekend went. Well, I'm still on it (I'm off work until Tuesday due to the holiday) but so far so good.

• Saturday morning was checked out by hot dude in the gym.
• Picked up mulch at Home Depot where I spotted ex with his new size 2 girlfriend. Laughed at the fact the she now has to put up with his antics.
• Fed chocolate pie by a 20 month old. LMAO! I had chocolate all over me. Anyone want to lick it off???
• Made fun of skanky blonde while watching NASCAR
• Stung in the head by flying insect. Did I ever mention how much I HATE flying insects? Yes, it hurt. Yes, it's better now.
• Had mix of vodka, blue caricao, sprite & triple sec which I refer to as Aruba coolers because that was the first place I had it. (helped with flying insect sting)
• Looking forward to cook-outs with hunky BIL of best friend. Dayum, that boy is fine! Recently, out of military. Have I ever mentioned my LOVE of men in uniform? Too bad he's so young....that just means he can be trained, right?

The PQ, who I have missed dearly, asked if I was sure I wanted random questions. Yes, dear. Although they can be scary they are mostly fun to answer. I had an entire conversation about Uranus....what could be scarier than that? Well...not Uranus. I'm sure Uranus is nice.

Catch ya'll on Wednesday. Have a great 4th.